Now that spring break was here, we could take a break from teaching! WooHoo! But what I noticed about five minutes into my week’s retirement is that my brain took over. Now it doesn’t help that I’ve been going down memory lane cleaning out boxes and boxes of keepsakes I’ve had store in my basement since I moved in 13 years ago and simultaneously when my parents moved out of my childhood home. I’ve found notes from my grandparents that have since passed, family funnies (my family LOVES to give cards – it's kinda our thing), friends I’d forgotten, pictures from trips I’d taken, journals from too long ago to admit and of course – the old flames. Wow did all of this conjure up some memories.... AND some feelings.
Time is Tricky
You’d think after a certain amount of time, these keepsakes would just be a memory. But it turned out to be so much more. All of our life experiences are energetically stored and most of us really only remember the good in our past but sometimes when you’ve had a challenging relationship or someone has passed, you tend to feel a lot more.
My grandparents’ hand-written letters telling me how much they loved and are proud of me gave me the feeling that this note from the past allowed me to talk to them in the present. Of course I knew they loved me and were proud of me at the time – they told me often but now as a mom, it meant so much more. These letters made me realize how important words are. It made me realize how important my words to my son are. My words now are literally laying the groundwork for his future self-confidence.
The old flames and past friendships, however, brought about a much different feeling. I relived our past “stories” and some had not so great endings. At first, this made me look back at my behavior in judgement but then I was reminded of a Maya Angelou quote “when you know better, you do better.” Then my view immediately switched to seeing how far I had come. To see the relationships as the gifts they are truly were. I wouldn’t be the person I am today had I not had these experiences. Being grateful helped me let go of past expectations, accept them for what they were & move forward.
My Take-Away on Time
So how do we tackle this thing called time so we can live fully present in this moment – not regretting the past or fretting over the future? We use our feelings as our guide. As they pop up, we address in what “time” they pop up – past, present or future.
By using these mantras when our feelings arise, we can grow in our perspective of time:
Letting go of the past – I did the very best I could with the knowledge I had at the time.
Accepting the present – Everything is unfolding exactly how it is supposed to be.
Worrying about the future – The universe always has a plan for me.
Coupled with these mantras, these tools help us honor our feelings while also using them to grow:
Gratitude – for how far you’ve come and for all the blessings in your life
Breathwork – to bravely face your feelings so you can move past the not so pleasant ones
Acceptance – for exactly who you are, perfectly and beautifully made doing the very best you can
The Kid’s Korner
Be a great role model to your kiddo by teaching them these tools. After all, we are their original teachers!
Start a gratitude practice with your kiddos. At breakfast every morning, have each family member state something they are grateful for.
By teaching your kids breathwork (see my Breath in Hope, Breath out Anxiety Post Breathwork 101) you teach them how to process overwhelming feelings in the moment instead of ignoring them or blaming how they feel on others.
Most importantly, let’s teach them acceptance for who they are. After all, once we start accepting ourselves, we learn to have more tolerance and compassion for others. And what a great world our children will lead from this perspective! - The Mom's Coach
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Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ!
For more information, check out my blogs: Expectations & Emotions, Feel Your Way to Freedom, Self-Confidence Traps & How to Overcome