Be Brave, Be YOU! My work is based in EQ or Emotional Quotient, which is the measurement of Emotional Intelligence. When Taught These Social and Emotional Skills in Their Formative Years, it has been Proven that Children: - Create higher achievement - Red
  • Home
  • Kid's Life Skills Coaching
  • It's a Balancing Act!
  • My Offerings
  • About
  • Membership
  • Blog

SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH

12/5/2019

0 Comments

 
Self-Care Sacrificed 
Too many of us sacrifice our self-care to be of service to others.  Not even realizing it, we teach our children to do the same by example.  We teach them that it is selfish to focus on your own needs first.  That it is altruistic to sacrifice your time and energy in the service of others.   
​

Now don’t get me wrong – being of service is important.  But not at the expense of your depleted energy.  I liken it to the air bags on an airplane.  They give us specific instruction we must put our airbag on first before helping someone else because if we run out of breath, we cannot be of service to anyone else. Therefore, we must put our airbag on first to guarantee we have enough air supply flowing to then be of service to others.   

This is the same with our life force energy.  In order to be fully present in service to others, we first must have our energy tank at full capacity. 

Keeping That Tank Full 
There are four main categories that keep our energy elevated that we need in our daily routine. 
  • Diet - our modern world always seems to be focusing on sacrificing some food group in hopes to look a certain way.  For my purposes, I equate it to eating whole foods – fresh fruits and vegetables instead of man-made GMO food.  Also, drink half your body weight in water. 
  • Exercise – not everybody has the same idea of what exercise should look like due to schedules & preferences.  Getting your body moving for 30 minutes a day is a win! 
  • Sleep – a minimum of eight hours is the recommendation but you know what your body needs to perform.  As long as you allow enough time to feel refreshed, the number doesn’t matter! 
  • Meditation – not necessarily meaning you sit in a lotus pose for an hour.  What I mean is taking time out each day to quiet the mind.  Even five minutes can reboot your energy! 

How Do I Model Self-Care to My Kiddos? 
Growing up my mom did almost everything for us. She did this out of love for us but there is great learning in doing.  Our kids watch every move we make.  They follow by example.  I know as a mom this is a relief because I can’t count the number of times my boy’s eyes have glazed over while I was trying to teach a great life lesson, while all he heard was preachin’! 
  • Have your kiddo help plan the week’s menu and go grocery shopping.  You can help navigate them to healthier choices and also teach about sticking to the script! 
  • Find an exercise your kiddo likes to do with you.  I started with a Thanksgiving Gobble Jog and now we run together.   
  • Setting a proper bedtime shows them the importance of sleep and sticking to the routine sets everyone up for success the following day!   
  • Meditating together not only gets them comfortable with silence, you can bond as well afterwards by sharing what thoughts arose and what you learned from them. 
Our ultimate goal after all is to raise self-sufficient, well balanced people.  Give them the tools and watch them flourish – way to go mom! 

As Sam Owen said - How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth. So, we must care for ourselves in every way, every day! 

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with teaching self-care and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
0 Comments

FEEL YOUR WAY TO FREEDOM

11/18/2019

0 Comments

 
From Thoughts to Feelings                                                              
I have found on my journey that self-confidence is earned by a well-balanced Mind, Body and Spirit.  My first blog series was on the Mind or how important our Thoughts are because we achieve what we believe.  (If you missed my first blog series you can visit my website.) 

Now we are going to learn about how to keep our body in balance.  The reason we started with our mind is that our thoughts trigger our feelings.  When we are consciously aware of our thoughts we move into the driver’s seat.  We are in a position to choose our action rather than blindly reacting to a feeling. This builds self-confidence.  Great, but what do we do with all our feelings? 

Be Accepting of ALL Feelings                       
All feelings are a physical response to your emotional journey, rooted in thought. Feelings are neither good or bad – we actually put that label on them.  Yes, some feelings feel better than others of course!  However, there is a benefit to those not-so-great feelings as well. 

Every experience in life is for our evolutionary growth.  This means that instead of avoiding the feelings that don’t feel so hot, it’s important to FEEL ALL of the FEELINGS.  When we distract ourselves from a feeling – by binge watching tv, shopping, addictions – we only temporarily relieve ourselves of feeling pain. The feeling does not go anywhere and is instead stuffed down. 

In the most extreme form, this blocked energy in your body is what causes dis-ease.  From the most practical standpoint it becomes a building block for insecurity.  When we believe something has happened to us is wrong, we are stating that the universe is wrong, therefore unsafe, therefore untrustworthy.   

Instead of going with the flow, feeling the feeling, letting go and moving on, you get lost in mental chatter.  If instead of fighting it you gave attention to it, the feeling would dissipate and you would no longer need a story attached to a feeling.  You do this by balancing your feelings with what you can practically do about a situation.  This is a better use of your energy. 

Feel Your Way to Freedom  
Let's get practical and learn how to face your feelings head on.  First and foremost, allow yourself to feel the feeling.  Observe yourself without judgement – be in the experience.  Adding shame to an already unpleasant feeling only compounds the issue.   

Close your eyes and breath through the feeling.  When we are relaxed it just becomes thought instead of an identification.  Repeat to yourself - I am safe.  I honor what this feeling is trying to tell me. Sit until your heart stops racing, your breath is relaxed and you feel more peaceful. 

Now that you are in a relaxed state of mind, ask what the feeling is trying to show you.  Allow the first answer that pops into your mind to direct your thoughts. Nine times out of ten, the feeling is a byproduct of an unresolved situation.  If there is some action you can take to heal, take action. Remember, we can only be responsible for our actions. If you find your resolution has to do with your desire for someone else's behavior to change, it's time to let it go. 

No matter if the situation is resolved in the manner you wish, you will find peace because you are no longer looking outside of yourself for empowerment.  You have learned you can calm yourself and that your personal power lies inside you, not outside of you (in the realm of things you cannot control).  We’re not here to overcome “bad” experiences.  All experiences are a catalyst for growth.  It just takes courage to discover what glue is holding you together – love or fear? 

Teach Your Kiddo Feelings Can Be Fun! 
Find a subject that is giving your child anxiety.  Explain that feelings are just our internal compass shining a light on something we need to work on. Then try the exercise above.  Watch your kiddo’s relief wash over their face and know you have taught them a lifelong tool. Way to go mom! 

As Sam Owen said - How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth. So, we must care for ourselves in every way, every day! ​

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with processing feelings and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 
 

Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
0 Comments

FROM SETBACKS TO SETUPS

11/11/2019

0 Comments

 
This is one of my favorite topics!  It is so very dear to my heart because for the longest time, I got stuck - like in quicksand stuck – in fear of trying new things, in failure when something didn’t go as planned and in mistakes I’d made.  I couldn’t seem to let go.  I just kept revisiting it over and over in my mind.  Not for the opportunity to learn from the experience but for the chance to endlessly shame myself for my inadequacies.  In summary, I was letting these disappointments define me. 

Looking back, I can see clearly now how I fell into that trap.  It’s only natural to feel down about fear, failures and mistakes.  Who wouldn’t?  But the key is not to get stuck in these feelings.  To know that you can move past these seeming obstacles. And to become stronger for it! 

What we believe, we achieve.  If we continue to identify with our fear, failures and mistakes we miss tapping into our true potential.  And don’t we all want our kids to live bravely and become all they are meant to be?  Well then it is our responsibility to teach them that fear, failures and mistakes are all a part of life.  We need to teach them to expect them, not be surprised by them. We do this by equipping our kiddos with skills to deal with what life throws their way. 

Shifting Your Way to Victory 
We live in a world of duality.  You’re either up or you’re down.  You go right or go left.  You are right or you are wrong.  Now that you get the idea, let’s build on it.   

Events are actually neutral.  We are the ones that define them as good or as bad.  Which means how we react is a choice.  We can either look to failure and mistakes to define us – “I made so many errors in the game today, I’m just not athletic.” Or we can look to them to teach us - “I kept getting penalties today that were all for the same thing.  How can I become more aware of what I’m doing before a penalty is called?” 

How we respond enables us to either stand in our personal power or shrink into a victim.  By standing in our personal power, we realize we have a choice.  Being a victim only gives your power away by not feeling in control.  Good news is, if we do choose the victimhood first, we can always change our minds!  We do this by shifting our perspective of the failure or mistake.  

Remember, we should never ignore how we feel.  Our feelings are there for a reason, to alert us to an issue we need to address.  What we do with our feelings is what is important – in other words, how we choose to react.  Do we face the disappointment with hope to learn from it or do we give up, throw in the towel and let the experience define us? 

Practice Makes Perfect  
We’ve all seen those people in our lives, that over time get beaten down by life’s disappointments and we surely don’t want our kiddos going down that path.  Now you can teach them that instead of seeing failure or mistakes as something they don’t want to deal with, they can use the experience as a compass to direct their path – instead of a roadblock that stunts their growth.  Let us all declare - No quicksand for our kiddos! 

Identify a fear, failure or mistake your kiddo has recently experienced.  Work together to change the perspective from something disappointing to what can be learned.  You can even start a Victory Journal where your kiddo logs in each time they do this exercise.  When they encounter a disappointment again, they can read all the times they overcame.  Watch their resilience grow and know you have taught them a life-long skill that will serve them well!  Way to go mom! 

 As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ​

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with moving past disappointments and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
0 Comments

The Secret Ingredients for Goal Setting

11/1/2019

0 Comments

 
Now that you have learned about your reticular activating system & have the RAS actively looking for resources to help you meet your goals, I want to teach you another way you can build Neural Pathways. It changed my life and I can’t wait for it to change your kiddos.  

Why My Story Will Help Your Family
Being a shy and sensitive person, I always found trying new things difficult.  I didn’t want the attention on me, and I was afraid of failure.  Unfortunately, I developed this habit of playing it safe by only trying things I was good at. 

I tried out for the school musical hosted by the drama department because I was a good singer in the school & church choir. I played tennis because I grew up playing with my dad. (I only would play doubles though so the game didn’t totally rest on my shoulders.)  I would choose activities that I could do alone, like reading, over being in group activities if I didn’t know everyone going. I never raised my hand or wanted to read aloud in class. 

I wish I knew then what I know now.  That trying new things doesn’t have to be scary.  That our brains are wired for new adventures. That you just have to build a Neural Pathway and those nervous jitters will disappear.  That your self-confidence grows by trying new things. 

I bet you didn’t know that you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own home to build Neural Pathways either!  You see your mind cannot decipher between what has actually happened and what you’d like to happen.  You can use visualizations and affirmations as tools to build them. 

As Promised...The Ingredients
Visualizations are exactly what they sound like.  You close your eyes and visualize being successful at the goal you are trying to reach. It’s like a movie you play in your imagination. The key is to visualize in great detail and to feel the success as well. Let’s say you have a big test coming up. You can picture yourself sitting in the classroom, the teacher passing out the test and you confidently passing it – you see it, feel it and become it.  

Affirmations work in the same way.  Where visualizations are tools in which you see yourself successfully meeting, affirmations are the audible version.  A successful affirmation is – a statement of fact, in the present tense & evokes a positive feeling.  “I pass my test with flying colors and it feels great!” 

I’ve saved the best ingredient for last – gratitude.  To be grateful for what you already have opens your energy to attract more of the same.  During your visualizations and affirmations, you are essentially expressing gratitude for something that has not yet appeared, acting as if it has already come to pass. This is wonderful but to make it even more powerful, give thanks for what you already have been given. If you can appreciate what you have, you exhibit the capability to accept more.  

The key in using these tools is to “use them and then loose them”.  Meaning once you’ve expressed your desire, then you let go of “the how”.  Your job in co-creating is to express that which you desire to create.  Then you let go of how it will come to pass and leave that up to the universe.   

How to Apply with Your Kiddos
Practice this with your kiddo.  Identify a challenge coming up and teach them how to visualize and affirm their success, while also expressing gratitude for past accomplishments. While you watch their confidence soar, so will your heart with pride for your kiddo and comfort knowing you’ve taught them a successful skill they can use for a lifetime! 

As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” 

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with setting and reaching goals and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coac
h 
​

Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
0 Comments

JUMPING FROM YOUR COMFORT ZONE INTO THE END ZONE

10/24/2019

0 Comments

 
My self-talk was indeed the root of my undesirable manifestations but there were also other factors at play too.  I was too afraid to step outside of my comfort zone. I knew I wanted and was being guided to change careers but the fear of the unknown stopped me in my tracks. I’m excited to report I’m on the other side of that fear and can’t wait to show you how! 

What makes our comfort zone so comforting? If you really look at the comfort zone for what it is, it’s actually more of a container than a comfort.  Yes, it feels more comforting to play it safe …. at first. 

When we live in our comfort zones and don’t venture to explore new people, places or experiences we are limiting our potential. It’s natural to be unsure of trying new things.  The uncertain outcome can be daunting if we’ve never done something before. Good news is, our brains are actually wired to support new ventures!  

Let’s use a map for our analogy.  When we don’t know how to get to where we want to go on a road trip, we use a map.  The new roads traveled take us from point A to point B. Our minds work the same way. We have this nifty tool called Neural Pathways.  Neural Pathways are like the roads on a map. They are formed in our brains when we have a new experience.  

When you get that uneasy, nervous feeling in your belly right before you are trying something new it’s because you haven’t built a Neural Pathway yet. However, once it’s built you can cease to have that nervous feeling because your brain already knows the path to take you to your desired goal. 
 
The more often you get comfortable with being uncomfortable, the more experience you have with trying something new. The next time you get that nervous feeling you can simply remind yourself you just need to build a Neural Pathway and you’ll be on your way.  Before you know it, you’re on the other side of trying something new.  You’ve impressed yourself by stretching yourself, which leads to increased self-confidence. 

To assist in building these pathways is your RAS or reticular activating system.  It is basically your own personal GPS. Once you have focused on what it is that you want to accomplish, your RAS then seeks out resources to help you achieve your goal. You will become more aware of opportunities to help you achieve your goal.  This internal GPS operates from your subconscious mind. 

Imagine a plane – your conscious mind is the pilot and your subconscious mind is the co-pilot.  The pilot is flying the plane (you’ve said out load what goal it is you want to accomplish) and the pre-programmed machine is the co-pilot (your beliefs as to whether or not you can achieve your goal) flying the plane to its destination.  

You see, regardless of what we’re saying we want (conscious mind), if our pre-programmed thoughts (subconscious mind) think it’s not possible, your subconscious mind will win out every time!  This is because your subconscious mind stores all of the files in your belief system. Therefore, use your conscious mind to be aware of your thoughts so you can then reprogram your subconscious mind to move past any possible limiting beliefs. 

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s personal struggles with the comfort zone and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 

As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” 

Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 

Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
0 Comments

how i healed my inner child so yours won't have to!

9/8/2019

0 Comments

 
I'm in Your Kid's Korner
Kid's Life Skills Coach is my "title".  What in the world does that mean?  Aren't coaches just for sports?  Why in the world would my family need one?  And what life skills can you possibly teach my child that I'm already not doing? 

These are great questions that I get all the time and what this post is dedicated to - educating you as a parent so that you can educate your kiddo!  That's my number one job qualification as a parent and as a coach.  I'm a regular mom's mom who happens to dedicate my life to not only building up my child, but yours as well.

My name is Michelle Cole.  I am the owner and founder of Be Brave, Be You, a certified coach specializing in life skills for children, a best-selling author and most importantly a proud mom! 
 
I Learned about EQ the Hard Way
I used to be that kid with low self-esteem.  Somewhere along the way, I began to believe that I wasn’t good enough and that something was wrong with me.  I had a pattern of bullying that followed me throughout my adolescence well into college.  It left me feeling like I didn’t belong and I felt isolated and alone.  I started to seek approval from others. 

As I grew, so did my lack of self-confidence.  I chose relationships with people that didn’t hold my best interest at heart – people that wanted to control or use me. These experiences further fueled my story that I was unlovable, which lead to years of pain, shame and unworthiness. 

Fate has a habit of leading us in ways we don’t often expect.  That is exactly what happened to me when I embarked on a healing journey to find out what was wrong with me.  I started reading self-help books.  I learned that I had to take responsibility and ownership for my part in these challenges. I learned that because I held negative beliefs about myself, life simply mirrored those beliefs in my experiences and relationships. It became apparent to me that my outside life was never going to change unless I changed my inside one. 

As I shifted my internal dialogue, how I felt on the inside, my outside world followed suit.  Ironically what I discovered was that nothing was wrong with me at all.  That I actually held the power all along to change how I felt about myself - once I had the right tools for personal transformation.  I am happy to share with you that I now feel like a different person.  I feel confident, purposeful, happy and content.   
 
Your Kiddo Doesn’t have to Struggle 
Now my passion is to teach kids early about their personal power when they are developing their core beliefs and self-worth.  To teach them about resilience.  To let them know how perfectly made they are.  And that their potential is through the roof.  That they are each uniquely made and don’t need to compare themselves to one another.

I teach children life skills so that they develop unwavering self-confidence.  My work is based in EQ or the measurement of emotional intelligence. We have been taught as a society to prepare our children for independence by solely developing their IQ.  Studies have found that EQ is as important if not more so than IQ.  

Where the traditional role of parents is to teach morale and character, a coach teaches mindset developmental skills.  I teach your child the brain science behind the power of their minds by targeting thought patterns. 

These skills are important for the development of successful relationships.  When your child can recognize, evaluate and regulate their emotions, they are in charge of their behavior which builds self-confidence.  These are skills to be utilized throughout life - from classroom discipline to their career success. 
 
How to Increase Emotional Intelligence
Just as important as it is to learn these skills is to know when to use them. You see our thoughts trigger how we feel, and how we feel influences how we act. So, if feelings are the trigger, we use that as an indicator to evaluate our thoughts.  So instead of just reacting to a person or situation, we "react" if you will to our feelings.  Meaning we can decide if a thought pattern needs to change to have a better feeling to then have a better reaction.  This is how we learn to take control of our behavior. 

The mind is just one aspect of EQ Development.  We have to couple this with self-care of our body and learning how to follow our intuition as well.  To learn self-care is to learn the importance of taking care of our bodies – getting enough sleep, eating nutritiously, exercising and making healthy choices.  Last, to follow our intuition is to connect with ourselves on such an intimate level that we learn to follow our own compass and not others.  We each have a journey in our life to fulfill and it is as unique as our fingerprints.  The sooner our children learn who they are, the sooner their legacy can be left in this world and what a beautiful gift that is! 

Our end goal is the balancing of the Mind/Body/Spirit so we equip our children with skills to coach themselves through the ups and downs of life. Life isn’t without challenges but if we give them the right coping skills our children can create anything they want in their life and have a beautiful and bright future full of possibilities! 

As Fredrick Douglas said “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”   


Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here's to happy coaching - the Mom's Coach


Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the power of EQ! 
#bebravebeyou 
#teachyourchildrenwell 
#EQisthenewIQ 
#coaching4kids
 
0 Comments

Learn the power of eq!

6/9/2019

0 Comments

 
Everything we do as parents is to prepare our kids for their future success.  We do this by teaching them a gamut of lessons. These lessons lay a solid foundation for our kiddos to build their unique life and place in this world.  We teach them how to eat healthy. How important exercising is. To always give your best - in the classroom and on the ball field. You are who you hang around. Treat other people the way you want to be treated. And the list goes on. But what if we are missing an opportunity to teach them one of the most important lessons of all?

Society teaches us that by developing our child's IQ, to the best of their ability, we will all but ensure their future success. There is nothing wrong with striving for a high IQ. I grew up on this model. We all did. Learning was so fascinating to me that I've even collected several degrees, all in varying and contrasting subjects and modalities. I've also experienced great success. But, something was missing.

Even though I excelled academically in my life, emotionally I was not as skilled. This affected all of my relationships - my family, friends, professional and romantic. I had a high IQ but a very underdeveloped EQ. This in turn impacted my self-confidence and how i interacted with others (quite often defensively I might add!) which also got in the way of academic opportunities for advancement in my career.

Where IQ measures how smart you are academically, EQ measures how "smart" you are emotionally. By emotionally smart, I mean how competent you are in self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.  Simply put how aware you are of your emotions, if you take responsibility for them and if you take action to improve upon them.

For many years I surely did not. I saw the world as a place where I was the victim. Where everything was happening to me. My life changed when I learned how to become emotionally intelligent. To accept the fact that when someone or something triggered a negative emotion inside of me, it was my responsibility to get to the bottom of it. And by blaming the other person, I was only postponing future pain that was sure to show up.

How did I turn this ship around? I learned how to become emotionally intelligent. I learned by becoming aware of my thought patterns, I could then take responsibility for them and by taking action, can change them. You see it all begins with our inner dialogue. As Henry Ford famously quoted “Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right."  This is where we truly hold our personal power and the statistics prove it as well.

As early as the age of 7 children's self-confidence can start to decline. 30% of children between the ages of 10-12 experience headaches and difficulty sleeping due to stress. 10% of children are diagnosed with depression by the age of 18. 1 out of 4 children are bullied, with 43% of that happening online.

This need not be so. We can teach our children in the formative years mindset developmental skills that target thought patterns. We can teach our children the brain science behind the power their minds and the power of their thoughts to become the master of their life and not the servant. 

Let's teach our children to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the power of EQ!

0 Comments

Self-Confidence Traps and How to Overcome

3/29/2018

0 Comments

 
Many of us have developed a habit that we are completely unaware of - Conditional Confidence.  Because of a lack in self-esteem, we find ourselves only being confident in familiar situations.  Instead of learning to develop self-esteem from the inside out, we've taught ourselves to gain confidence from sources outside of ourselves.  So we then only put ourselves in situations in which we know we can succeed because we've been there before.  Sound familiar?

​Well, this need not be so!  When you learn how to believe in yourself and in your power to make things happen, it enables you to step through fear and uncertainty and reach your full potential.

So how do we leap from the known to the unknown?  First we have to identify the traps we've become prey to & then​ use mindset skills to move past them.

​There are three traps that keep us from developing sustaining self-confidence:

1. Fear of the Unknown
We all get nervous when we do something for the first time and it's supposed to feel unsettling!  Not because you will fail but because you haven't developed neural pathways yet.  Your brain is like a map and the neural pathways are like the roads.  When you are trying something for the first time, a "road" hasn't been built yet but the more you try it, then the "road" gets built and each time it gets easier!

So how do we settle our nerves before that neural pathway has been made?  We can use visualization.  Visualization is when we imagine ourselves in the future having already achieved our goals.  You see, your mind does not know the difference between reality and imagination.  So when you visualize, you actually go ahead and start building that neural pathway!

2. Self-Doubt
When we play it safe because we are unsure of our abilities due to our lack of knowledge or experience, we limit ourselves from reaching our full potential. And each time we do this, we create more self-doubt.

We can overcome this habit with the use of affirmations.  Affirmations are statements you make to yourself that communicate positive messages about what you want.  So we shift our self-talk from "I Can't" to "I Can!" and in the process, we build a trusty new neural pathway!

3. Failure or Disappointment
When we have failed at something or had a different outcome than we anticipated, we often make the decision not to try again so we're not hurt again.  When we do this, we are allowing a failure or disappointment to define who you are but this label is not you.  It was just something that happened outside of you.  But when we learn how to separate ourselves from an experience, we no longer allow that experience to define us.

​One of my favorite techniques for overcoming failure or disappointment is Put It In A Box.  In this exercise, you literally do just that!  You right down the experience in a brief description and draw a box around it.  Then toss it to the side.  Next, describe out loud the facts of what happened - not your emotions.  Seek then to learn from it and often that means reaching out and asking for someone's opinion or help.  Take action based upon what you've learned, make a plan to fix/solve/prevent it and as Elsa sings....Let It Go!

I hope this was of service to you!
Much love, 
Michelle
0 Comments

Are you the parent of an hsp?

3/6/2018

0 Comments

 
Does your child meet any of these traits? 
- Startles easily
- Learns better from gentle correction (versus harsh punishment)
- Uses big words for their age
- Has a clever sense of humor
- Doesn't do big changes well
- Asks lots of questions
- Is a perfectionist
- Is quite intuitive, seems to read your mind
- Is very sensitive to pain
- Is bothered by noisy places
- Feels things deeply

Highly Sensitive People are born with highly sensitive nervous systems that allow them to grasp subtle changes in energy - in both emotional and physical environments.  This makes them become overwhelmed by the emotional distress of others or in highly stimulating environments.

They have wrongly been labeled as hyper-sensitive and often asked why they can't just be like everybody else - but they most definitely are not.  As they represent a mere 15% of the population.  So from an early age, they can develop self-confidence issues if they don't learn to see their sensitivity as a gift.

Since children create a sense of self worth during their early formative years, it is important for parents of HSPs to realize their child needs more help creating self-confidence than the "average" child.

Parents can offer this help by:
1. Offering encouragement - so they know they are supported for who they are
2. Allowing your child to feel their feelings - teaching them how to manage them
3. Showing them their sensitivity is a strength - through perspective shifts
4. Validating your child's experience - by not discounting what they feel
5. Honor your child's ability to pick up subtle energy - intuitive training

I empower Highly Sensitive Children between the ages of 7-13 to embrace their sensitivity as a gift so they develop sustaining self-confidence.

My coaching practice is unique because I teach both intellectual and intuitive skills to foster self-confidence.  The Wisdom curriculum teaches children how to use the power of their minds and the power of their thoughts to create self-confidence, and my Reap program teaches them how to reclaim their personal power by tapping into their intuition for daily guidance.  Thus learning to turn obstacles into growth opportunities.
​
If this sounds of interest to you, please contact me for a free consultation at Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org

0 Comments

    Archives

    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    March 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly