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FEEL YOUR WAY TO FREEDOM

11/18/2019

From Thoughts to Feelings
I have found on my journey that self-confidence is earned by a well-balanced Mind, Body and Spirit. My first blog series was on the Mind or how important our Thoughts are because we achieve what we believe. (If you missed my first blog series you can visit my website.)

Now we are going to learn about how to keep our body in balance. The reason we started with our mind is that our thoughts trigger our feelings. When we are consciously aware of our thoughts we move into the driver’s seat. We are in a position to choose our action rather than blindly reacting to a feeling. This builds self-confidence. Great, but what do we do with all our feelings?

Be Accepting of ALL Feelings
All feelings are a physical response to your emotional journey, rooted in thought. Feelings are neither good or bad – we actually put that label on them. Yes, some feelings feel better than others of course! However, there is a benefit to those not-so-great feelings as well.

Every experience in life is for our evolutionary growth. This means that instead of avoiding the feelings that don’t feel so hot, it’s important to FEEL ALL of the FEELINGS. When we distract ourselves from a feeling – by binge watching tv, shopping, addictions – we only temporarily relieve ourselves of feeling pain. The feeling does not go anywhere and is instead stuffed down.

In the most extreme form, this blocked energy in your body is what causes dis-ease. From the most practical standpoint it becomes a building block for insecurity. When we believe something has happened to us is wrong, we are stating that the universe is wrong, therefore unsafe, therefore untrustworthy.

Instead of going with the flow, feeling the feeling, letting go and moving on, you get lost in mental chatter. If instead of fighting it you gave attention to it, the feeling would dissipate and you would no longer need a story attached to a feeling. You do this by balancing your feelings with what you can practically do about a situation. This is a better use of your energy.

Feel Your Way to Freedom
Let's get practical and learn how to face your feelings head on. First and foremost, allow yourself to feel the feeling.  Observe yourself without judgement – be in the experience. Adding shame to an already unpleasant feeling only compounds the issue.

Close your eyes and breath through the feeling. When we are relaxed it just becomes thought instead of an identification. Repeat to yourself - I am safe. I honor what this feeling is trying to tell me. Sit until your heart stops racing, your breath is relaxed and you feel more peaceful.

Now that you are in a relaxed state of mind, ask what the feeling is trying to show you. Allow the first answer that pops into your mind to direct your thoughts. Nine times out of ten, the feeling is a byproduct of an unresolved situation. If there is some action you can take to heal, take action. Remember, we can only be responsible for our actions. If you find your resolution has to do with your desire for someone else's behavior to change, it's time to let it go.

No matter if the situation is resolved in the manner you wish, you will find peace because you are no longer looking outside of yourself for empowerment. You have learned you can calm yourself and that your personal power lies inside you, not outside of you (in the realm of things you cannot control).  We’re not here to overcome “bad” experiences. All experiences are a catalyst for growth.  It just takes courage to discover what glue is holding you together – love or fear?

Teach Your Kiddo Feelings Can Be Fun!
Find a subject that is giving your child anxiety. Explain that feelings are just our internal compass shining a light on something we need to work on. Then try the exercise above. Watch your kiddo’s relief wash over their face and know you have taught them a lifelong tool. Way to go mom!

As Sam Owen said - How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth. So, we must care for ourselves in every way, every day!

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with processing feelings and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training. Follow me for more to come!

For more information, check out my blog Self-Talk:
www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2020/02/you-achieve-what-you-believe.html

Join Me
I hoped you received some valuable information! Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs! Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ!

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FROM SETBACKS TO SETUPS

11/11/2019

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This is one of my favorite topics! It is so very dear to my heart because for the longest time, I got stuck - like in quicksand stuck – in fear of trying new things, in failure when something didn’t go as planned and in mistakes I’d made. I couldn’t seem to let go. I just kept revisiting it over and over in my mind. Not for the opportunity to learn from the experience but for the chance to endlessly shame myself for my inadequacies. In summary, I was letting these disappointments define me.

Looking back, I can see clearly now how I fell into that trap. It’s only natural to feel down about fear, failures and mistakes. Who wouldn’t? But the key is not to get stuck in these feelings. To know that you can move past these seeming obstacles. And to become stronger for it!

What we believe, we achieve. If we continue to identify with our fear, failures and mistakes we miss tapping into our true potential. And don’t we all want our kids to live bravely and become all they are meant to be? Well then it is our responsibility to teach them that fear, failures and mistakes are all a part of life. We need to teach them to expect them, not be surprised by them. We do this by equipping our kiddos with skills to deal with what life throws their way.

Shifting Your Way to Victory
We live in a world of duality. You’re either up or you’re down. You go right or go left. You are right or you are wrong. Now that you get the idea, let’s build on it.

Events are actually neutral. We are the ones that define them as good or as bad. Which means how we react is a choice. We can either look to failure and mistakes to define us – “I made so many errors in the game today, I’m just not athletic.” Or we can look to them to teach us - “I kept getting penalties today that were all for the same thing. How can I become more aware of what I’m doing before a penalty is called?”

How we respond enables us to either stand in our personal power or shrink into a victim. By standing in our personal power, we realize we have a choice. Being a victim only gives your power away by not feeling in control. Good news is, if we do choose the victimhood first, we can always change our minds! We do this by shifting our perspective of the failure or mistake.

Remember, we should never ignore how we feel. Our feelings are there for a reason, to alert us to an issue we need to address. What we do with our feelings is what is important – in other words, how we choose to react. Do we face the disappointment with hope to learn from it or do we give up, throw in the towel and let the experience define us?

Practice Makes Perfect
We’ve all seen those people in our lives, that over time get beaten down by life’s disappointments and we surely don’t want our kiddos going down that path. Now you can teach them that instead of seeing failure or mistakes as something they don’t want to deal with, they can use the experience as a compass to direct their path – instead of a roadblock that stunts their growth. Let us all declare - No quicksand for our kiddos!

Identify a fear, failure or mistake your kiddo has recently experienced. Work together to change the perspective from something disappointing to what can be learned. You can even start a Victory Journal where your kiddo logs in each time they do this exercise. When they encounter a disappointment again, they can read all the times they overcame. Watch their resilience grow and know you have taught them a life-long skill that will serve them well! Way to go mom!

As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with moving past disappointments and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training. Follow me for more to come!

For more information, check out my blog Self-Confidence Traps:
http://www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2018/03/self-confidence-traps-and-how-to-overcome.html

Join Me
I hoped you received some valuable information! Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs! Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ!

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The Secret Ingredients for Goal Setting

11/1/2019

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Now that you have learned about your reticular activating system & have the RAS actively looking for resources to help you meet your goals, I want to teach you another way you can build Neural Pathways. It changed my life and I can’t wait for it to change your kiddos.

Why My Story Will Help Your Family
Being a shy and sensitive person, I always found trying new things difficult. I didn’t want the attention on me, and I was afraid of failure. Unfortunately, I developed this habit of playing it safe by only trying things I was good at.

I tried out for the school musical hosted by the drama department because I was a good singer in the school & church choir. I played tennis because I grew up playing with my dad. (I only would play doubles though so the game didn’t totally rest on my shoulders.) I would choose activities that I could do alone, like reading, over being in group activities if I didn’t know everyone going. I never raised my hand or wanted to read aloud in class.

I wish I knew then what I know now. That trying new things doesn’t have to be scary. That our brains are wired for new adventures. That you just have to build a Neural Pathway and those nervous jitters will disappear. That your self-confidence grows by trying new things.

I bet you didn’t know that you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your own home to build Neural Pathways either!  You see your mind cannot decipher between what has actually happened and what you’d like to happen. You can use visualizations and affirmations as tools to build them.

As Promised...The Ingredients
Visualizations are exactly what they sound like. You close your eyes and visualize being successful at the goal you are trying to reach. It’s like a movie you play in your imagination. The key is to visualize in great detail and to feel the success as well. Let’s say you have a big test coming up. You can picture yourself sitting in the classroom, the teacher passing out the test and you confidently passing it – you see it, feel it and become it.

Affirmations work in the same way. Where visualizations are tools in which you see yourself successfully meeting, affirmations are the audible version. A successful affirmation is – a statement of fact, in the present tense & evokes a positive feeling.  “I pass my test with flying colors and it feels great!”

I’ve saved the best ingredient for last – gratitude. To be grateful for what you already have opens your energy to attract more of the same. During your visualizations and affirmations, you are essentially expressing gratitude for something that has not yet appeared, acting as if it has already come to pass. This is wonderful but to make it even more powerful, give thanks for what you already have been given. If you can appreciate what you have, you exhibit the capability to accept more.

The key in using these tools is to “use them and then loose them”. Meaning once you’ve expressed your desire, then you let go of “the how”. Your job in co-creating is to express that which you desire to create. Then you let go of how it will come to pass and leave that up to the universe.

How to Apply with Your Kiddos
Practice this with your kiddo. Identify a challenge coming up and teach them how to visualize and affirm their success, while also expressing gratitude for past accomplishments. While you watch their confidence soar, so will your heart with pride for your kiddo and comfort knowing you’ve taught them a successful skill they can use for a lifetime!

As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with setting and reaching goals and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training. Follow me for more to come!

For more information, check out my blog Setbacks:
http://www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2019/11/from-setbacks-to-setups.html

Join Me
I hoped you received some valuable information! Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs! Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach

Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ!

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FEEL YOUR WAY TO FREEDOM

FROM SETBACKS TO SETUPS

The Secret Ingredients for Goal Setting

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