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ALL IS WELL

1/21/2022

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All is Well.  Easier said than done when your world feels upside down, right?  Well, I can help you with that! Key word being FEELS. Because despite how you feel, this is when the words you choose to speak are more important than ever.

We tend to use our feelings as an excuse for not being responsible for our behavior. When we feel so lousy the last thing we feel like doing is speaking victory over our seemingly apparent defeat. BUT folks, if you want to elicit change, sometimes you've gotta fake it til' you make it!

FACT: Regardless of how you feel, your words will manifest into reality.  Reread that a few times. No matter how you feel right now, you have a CHOICE. Your choice is in how you speak over your circumstance.

How do you use your words when your back's up against the wall?  To speak defeat over your situation?  Or to speak change over what you see?  You always have a choice. Our knee jerk reaction is to act upon how we feel.

You know that saying, don't shoot the messenger?  Well, that feeling you have is no more than a messenger.  It is not your identity.  The messenger has come to alert you to your thoughts. If you can go back to the thought that created that feeling, you can choose another thought. Once you choose a better feeling thought, you can then proclaim that message over your life. Thus moving forward instead of staying stuck.

Let's take the story of Horatio G. Spafford as an example:
On November 22, 1873, while crossing the Atlantic on the steamship, Ville du Havre, their vessel was struck by an iron sailing ship. Two hundred and twenty-six people lost their lives, as the Ville du Havre sank within only twelve minutes. All four of Horatio Spafford’s daughters perished, but remarkably his wife Anna Spafford survived the tragedy.  When he was taken to the spot where his children had perished, it is said that Spafford returned to his cabin and wrote the now famous hymn “It is well with my soul." Of course he and his wife were both devastated, but they were determined to move forward and Anna went on to give birth to three more children. 

In the midst of turmoil, we so desperately want an explanation of why, but often times there is none. The only choice we are left with is deciding how we react, how we process our feelings. We can either use the circumstance to define us or we can use the circumstance to speak faith over our lives.

Next time you have that feeling of defeat, use it to RE-mind you instead of to RE-act to by:
Acknowledging & honoring how you feel
Decide you do not want that feeling to become your identity
Bravely trace that feeling back to its thought
Decide you want to think a better feeling thought
Speak that new thought over your Circumstance
For Example - All is Well


Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Trading Problems for Prayers, The Movie of Your Mind, The Easier Way to Let Go, Expectations & Emotions, Feel Your Way to Freedom​
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THINKING ABOUT GOALS VS. ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING

1/18/2022

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I'm an a-type lovin' list maker!  I get excited to set goals, make plans for achieving them, and checking them off my to-do list.  Along the way though, I started to notice a pattern I had for my "tougher" goals.  AKA my big dreamer goals - transform my body, change careers, retrain my brain from lack and defeat to success - just to name a few 😊

I understand why now. I mean reread what I just wrote!  Those are some larger than life goals. So big that when you work towards fulfilling them, can feel overwhelming to say the least.  Key word being FEELING.  But we'll circle back to that in a minute.

​I spent a lot of time THINKING about my goals. Shortly after I finally got around to taking action, I became impatient when things weren't happening. I was under the impression I had been at it for a LONG time, but when I was honest with myself, I realized that I'd just been THINKING about them for a long time.

I hadn't actually been taking action for that long. Just long enough to get impatient. Then frustrated. Then I gave up all together. Sound familiar? Well it's quite common. So don't go shaming yourself. 

I always had the "I can" part of this mantra but I was missing the "I will" piece due to procrastination. And I was procrastinating because I was filled with doubt. Doubt is totally normal when you're going through change, because our brains love patterns.  BUT doubt can actually be used as a catalyst for change if you use it as a reminder to find a solution rather than an excuse to quit all together.

Let's take my body goal for example. It went something like this: I want to transform my body. But how can I when my body's been like this for so long? I mean I exercise all the time. And I eat nutritious every day. Well, I guess I've tried already. It must just be a byproduct of getting older. I might as well move on to the next goal. Now it would be one thing if I just let it go at that, but I'd still pine away after this goal. So I knew there had to more to it!

Well.....after further examination (when confronted with the cold hard facts aka my data in the My Fitness Pal app) I hadn't really been exercising all the time. I was constantly thinking about exercising. I also wasn't eating nutritious every day either. I spent more time thinking about the foods I should log in my app rather than what I was actually putting into my body.

This is how The Dailys were born. I wanted to move out of just feeling (I can) by coupling it with measurable action (I will). I decided that each day, I would have non-negotiables. These are tasks that I would do each day, no questions asked, to help me reach my goals. I wrote down my big dreamer goals. Then I divide them by twelve months. At the beginning of each month, I assigned them a week. Each week broke down into daily tasks. I kept track of all of this in my calendar and readjusted with the ebb and flow of my life. (After all I was a single full-time working mom and had a few other tasks on my to-do!)

I also had science backing up my new process too - Neural Pathways. Your brain is like a map and the pathways are like the roads. When you do something new, you form a new pathway that your brain adds to its "map" from how you got from point A to point B. When you do this task again, your brain remembers how because it's formed a neural pathway. Remember, your brain likes patterns, repetitions.

That's why change can SEEM so hard because you just haven't figured out your new pathway yet. Not because of your lack in will power or your inability to change. Now that you know you just need to build a new pathway, use The Dailys to help you do that - small daily steps add up to big dreamer goals!


Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Facing Your Fears, Destination or Distraction?, Practice Makes Productive, The Secret Ingredients for Goal Setting
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YOUR YEAR TO FACE YOUR FEARS

1/11/2022

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I saw a psychic about 15 years ago that told me I was full of lots of fear. She was trying to tell me that fear was dictating my choices, but there was nothing to fear. My fear was an illusion, and if I could see the truth, my life will change. Well being the "I've gotta feel it for myself type of gal" that I am, I just thought - well who isn't afraid lady? And went about my business. Of making lots and lots and lots of choices. Based. In. Fear.

Fast forward a decade later and I finally "saw" this message as living proof in my life. I finally saw the pattern of emotional decisions based in fear vs. what could have been well thought out decisions based on my self-worth. Well, that's because at the time, I didn't have any confidence. Instead I built my life on a shaky foundation that eventually came crumbling down.

I got divorced, twice, to the same type of man no less. But he'd been dressed up in a different personality. So instead of acknowledging the red flags flying everywhere, I stayed camouflaged in denial. I ran up credit card balances, paid them off and ran them up again. I continued to use drugs and alcohol to cope. Only to find the next day the only coping I had was shame for my behavior the night before. Of course being hung over, I was in no mood to exercise or eat anything that resembled nutritious either. And the cycle went on like this for years.

Even though somewhere in the depth of my soul I knew this behavior was not my highest good, I kept staying in these cycles of defeat because I had grown used to them. You know, the old saying - better the devil that you know? I wanted to believe that it was better to deal with difficult people or situations that I knew instead of trying something new - for fear it could be worse.

We buy into fear's story because it pretends to be shielding us from future pain. Fear is able to do this because it feeds off of our insecurity. And we blindly believe the narrative
because it feels so dang real. But please know this - just because we feel, does not make it real. F.E.A.R. stands for false evidence appearing real. So how do we get rid of the false appearing and find the real evidence?

You separate yourself from the storyline. When we feel fear, it's because the story we've told has become our identity. For example, when I knew I needed to divorce the second time, fear's voice kept telling me: You're too old, you'll never find anyone else. What a failure! What will people think, twice divorced? What a looser! You really are unlovable. 

Well with that dialogue going on, of course I'm going to feel even more fear and paralyzed to take action! I found that in order to move past my fear, into truth, I had to tackle each question head on. I had to see what was truth and what was myth. By taking "my character" out of the storyline and re-evaluating the story as an observer, I was able to detach my feelings to find the thoughts that had created this nasty narrative. Then and only then could I change the narrative. Once I had new thoughts, it created empowering feelings, which led to positive forward action.

What I learned was this:
You can't pick and choose the truth.
Fear often covers up the truth.
Letting go of shame gives you the power to face fear.
Once you face your fear, the truth is revealed.
Truth is the door that opens to love.
Love gives you the strength to take forward moving action.


Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Feel Your Way to Freedom, Overcoming Self-confidence Traps, Heal Your Inner Child, From Setbacks to Setups, You Achieve What You Believe ​

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NEW YEAR, SAME YOU!

1/3/2022

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Happy New Year Brave Ones! 

The celebration of the new year has a lot of bravado behind it. There is so much societal pressure to commit to change. But what I've learned is the new year doesn't have to mean a new you. The new year can be an opportunity to experience you in a new way!

New beginnings give us that extra skip in our step, and when fueled by this excitement, we're more open to seeing things in new ways. There is even a scientific explanation for this!

The Observation Effect says that if we change the way we see something, that something will change. It may appear there are no more options in your life. You may feel like you've tried every angle. But in this world of duality, there is ALWAYS an opposite perspective. Guaranteed. Every. Single. Time.

So if it's guaranteed, no way you can fail, 100% chance of success, why not give it a whirl?!? My world did a 180 when I took these steps towards a perspective change. I went from seeing the world as a place where everything happens to me and I have zero control .... to living a life of pure joy and abundance, where I just flow in faith. I am so filled with love and hope that all I want is to share this feeling with anyone who wants to feel the same. It's literally like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my chest because I am free from debilitating fear.

Here are the facts:
Everything that happens, happens for you - not to you.
Changing this perspective will not happen overnight.
You must put in the hard-work and the heart-work.
This work is done by way of your feelings.
You honor them by feeling them ALL.
You follow them back to the thoughts that created them.
You honestly tell the story behind your thoughts.
Only then can you dismantle the story to be rewritten.
As your inner dialogue changes, your outside world will follow suit.
It will never be the other way around.

Shift your focus from trying to control the outside, to cleaning up your inside, and I guarantee you will live the life of your dreams! 
Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Trade Problems for Prayer, Distraction or Destination?, The Move of Your Mind, To Be or Not to Be, The Magic of Universal Flow

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