Distractions are such sneaky little boogers! They disguise themselves so well that we take the bait without ever having seen the hook.

I was always ready and willing to show up for some fight. All in the name of injustice. At work I was taking up for a coworker that was being bullied by the sales team. In my relationships, I was trying to right bad behavior. With my family, I was forever defending my reactions. And personally, I fought depression, body dysmorphia and flailing finances.

I was sidetracked by distractions all the time. Until I saw them for what they were - a pattern. I always seemed to be fighting, and this took up so much of my energy that I didn't have time to grow and expand.

I was at the crossroads of choice. Do I continue to fight any and everything that came my way? Or do I discern - Is this a Distraction or My Destination?

​- For work, I decided the office politics were a distraction. No one put me in charge. Therefore I had no authority to make any changes. I stuck to excellent client service and left the rest alone.
- For my relationships, I decided if someone could not hear how their behavior hurt me, they were no longer a part of my inner circle. This was a privilege, not something I needed to explain.
- For my family, I stopped trying to be right and decided to just be happy. I gave us all the space to just show up how we wanted to, and now we are in the best place we've ever been!
- As for my personal problems, I took ownership and responsibility for my feelings by way of my thoughts. Our thoughts create our feelings which create our actions. If you want your actions to change, take a look at the thoughts that are fueling them.

​Do you see a pattern in your life that you'd like to change?
Acknowledge how you feel.
Discover the root thought.
Ask for the help you need.
Commit to making a change.
And when you are triggered again, remind yourself: "This is a Distraction from my Destination!"

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: The Movie of Your Mind, To Be or Not to Be, The Secret Ingredient for Goal Setting, Self-Confidence Traps​

My soul sandwich is my morning ritual that re-minds me that I am a spirit having a human experience. It’s so easy to get swept away in our human experiences throughout the day and it’s totally normal!  If I serve my soul this sandwich though, it’s easier to move through a moment when I can’t seem to see the forest for the trees. 

The recipe has three ingredients: Gratitude, Prayer, Grounding.  Within moments of opening my eyes, I give Gratitude for the blessings in my life. Then I Pray “Please let me see what I need to see, hear what I need to hear and feel what I need to feel” so that I will remain open to following the guidance of my intuition. I sandwich this with Grounding myself. I put my feet on the ground while reaching my arms to the sky while affirming “I am grounded in Mother Earth while being guided by God my father.” 

Gratitude acknowledges my earthly existence. Prayer acknowledges that I don't have to go it alone. While Grounding myself marries the human and the spirit.

One of my recent experiences showed me just how powerful this soul sandwich is.  Even though I am happier and feel freer than I have in years, I have been feeling energetically stuck. Specifically, having difficulty in expressing my creativity.  

The weekend rolls around and even though I rarely do anything on a Friday night, I had a strong urge to reach out to my neighbors to make dinner plans. Since neither of us had our kids, we decided to treat ourselves to sushi in a part of town I rarely go.

On the way back to the car from dinner, we noticed a new hot yoga facility.  Before my son was born, hot yoga was my jam. The studio I attended was a bit of a drive, and it just became unpractical. I was ecstatic to see we had a studio now, but even more so that I'd allowed my intuition to bring me here.

I purchased a week unlimited and literally felt like I’d come back home. Remember my pray to hear, see and feel the information I needed?  Just like magic, I did!  It was my second chakra that was blocked and all the “evidence” (characteristics of this chakra) around me supported what my intuition told me. 

Hearing – in my meditation, I kept hearing water in the background of the spa music that played   Seeing – in both my gyms (orangetheory and the new yoga studio) the décor was orange                  Feeling – doing yoga sparked such enthusiasm that I finally created YouTube videos I'd avoided

To top it off (and you can’t make this stuff up folks), shortly after I'd put together all these pieces together, a frog was jumping around in my house. Frogs are symbols of potential.  Growing from a tadpole swimming around into a frog that hops around, frogs demonstrate the capacity for something so simple to evolve into something magnificent. 

I had been blocking my creative energy by worrying about whether it was good enough. When my focus should simply be on being creative, trusting the universe will match my energy and bring me everything I need. What an incredible hug I'd received from the universe.  What lesson could you benefit from serving up a Soul Sandwich?   

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones! 
 
Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ! 
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou 
Similar Blog Topics: Modern Day Miracles, Humanness, The Magic of Universal Flow

​I couldn't shake this feeling that I needed to strive for more balance, but I was so confused.  Here's the catch - I thought I was balanced because I had literally let go.  Not in a defeating kind of way but in a I'm not stressin' about things out of my control anymore way.

I was no longer obsessing over finances - I made a budget and moved forward.
My happiness was no longer tied to how much I weighed - Perimenopause can be a draaaaag!  
I was no longer focusing on when I'd meet "Mr. Right" - Even though I have coined myself the Queen of First Dates, at least I'm getting out there.

After all, I have made a beautiful and peaceful home for my son and I.  I have the most fantastic tribe of friends a woman can ask for.  We really want for nothing.  My family is happy and healthy.  Life is good.

So what's up with more balance????

After digging a bit deeper in meditation, opening myself up to signs and their interpretation, I finally "heard" the message.  

It wasn't balance of my human life, it was balance between my human life and my spiritual one.  I was focusing so much on my material world, I'd let my connection with the spiritual one go to the wayside.  It's so common too!

We are spirits having a human experience but we often forget that when we get bogged down in the day to day duties of life.  By reconnecting with our spirit, our Higher-self, we re-member just how powerful we are and get grounded in solutions versus problems.

The results are amazing!  Not only do we get trusted guidance from the 10k foot view, but physiologically we benefit too.  Your nervous system calms down, so the fight or flight is released for you to make better sound decisions.

Meditation is a great way to tap into your spirit's guidance, but it's not always convenient to stop where you're at, close your eyes, hum OM and get your answers!  So I'm gonna share how to get out of your head and into your heart no matter where you are or what you're doing.

When you've found yourself at a crossroad - whether it's your fight or flight kickin' in or you're just plain confused - do three easy steps:  Stop, Breath and Receive.

Stop - what you're doing: moving, thinking, doing, going
Breath - breath in for 5, hold for 5, release for 5 (repeat until you feel more calm)
Receive - take the first thought as your answer to what to do next

Now your mind is most likely going to tell you it's hogwash, but I'm here to tell you it works.  Every.  Single.  Time.  You just have to practice to get your "proof".

Your logical mind fights this process because it wants to know all the steps right now.  Your intuition doesn't work that way.  It gives you one step at a time. You literally have to walk in faith, but as you do so you begin to trust the process.

When I first starting working with my intuition, I kept a small journal in my purse to jot down synchronicities that happened and it was so much fun looking back at the process and how beautifully it had all unfolded.  But don't just believe me, try it out for yourself!

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Human vs. Spirit, The Magic of Universal Flow, Use Your Intuition to Find Your Mission, Feel Your Way to Freedom

I can't tell you how many times I've looked at a goal I'm working on and said, "Why in the world is this taking so long?  All I've done is think about this and how much I want it.  What gives?!?!?"

Thinking.  That's what gives.  Nine times out of ten when we've set out to do something and we take note of how far along we actually are versus how far along we think we should be it's because there is a gap between an Expectation and Intention.  We've thought about it more than we've actually been doing anything about it.  And - there's nothing wrong with that!  Let me explain.

When we are taking an idea in our head and manifesting it into reality, visualization (aka thinking about it in great detail) is a great way to start.  Our brains are wired to then attract to us situations that will help us create our dream into a reality.  This is where I got stuck - I never moved past the visualization and into taking some action....

Let's take working out as an example.  I used to put a lot of time and energy into what kind of exercise was the latest fad, how much time I should be doing it and when the schedule fit my working hours.  I found this fancy membership near my job that I could go to at lunch.  The club not only offered all the latest classes, but also had a pool for my son and I to swim in, spa treatments and tennis courts for the weekends. I had set myself up to reach my fitness goals by taking action to join the gym.  What I wasn't doing was going on a regular basis.

It was feast or famine for me. If I'd over-indulged on the weekend, I went crazy the next week.  Wore myself out and chilled the next week which lingered into another week. Then I'd indulge again and the cycle would begin again.

I spent a lot of time thinking about exercising - instead of designing an exercise program that was manageable enough to follow.  I know it may sound elementary but I was driving myself nuts. Until one day I was brave enough to be honest with myself.  It wasn't my gym.  It wasn't my perimenopausal body (although let's face it, that didn't help much!).  It wasn't the type of exercise that wasn't yielding results.  It was me.  I was self-sabotaging.

So how do we bridge the gap between Expectations and Intention?  You take it to the next level by getting the ideas out of your head and onto some paper.  Mind-mapping is when you take a larger goal and break it into smaller, more manageable pieces.

Mind-Mapping 101:  
Identify a large goal.
Break it into steps and assign these steps to a month.
Each month break down this step into four weeks.
At the start of each week, break out that week's goal into days.
Then keep a journal of your progress and adjust accordingly.

The goal is to hold yourself accountable.  I do this using several tools:
I use a journal to list my large yearly goals (health, career, social, financial, community).
I then take a page per month and divvy out these goals.
I use a monthly calendar on my wall to display that month's tasks.
Then I break the monthly tasks out into weekly goals.
Last, I use my phone calendar to track daily activity for that week's goal(s).

Also keep in mind - life happens!  So adjust as you need to.  I was crushing my goals earlier this year, having finished writing my book and had it edited, I just knew I'd be in print by spring.  Then bam, I had to have surgery.  Hopefully your life won't be quite as eventful as mine was but if you do need to make adjustments, it's ok.  Each new day (each new minute really) is an invitation to start again.

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics:  Killin' Time with Idle Minds, Use Your Intuition to Find Your Mission, The Secret Ingredients to Goal Setting, Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

You gotta love it when people call you out for THEIR behavior.  This happened to me over and over again in Corporate America.  And. It. Drove. Me. Nuts! 

Example.... there is a miscommunication with a client. So you just fix it, but the sales person wants to talk it out.  I'm ok with that. After all, that's how we grow and learn - from mistakes. What drove me crazy was then having the sales person call my boss to complain that I am not communicating efficiently - after we worked it out and are in agreement how to move forward.

I don't have a problem with constructive criticism when I have done something wrong and need to learn from it. (I'm a a rehabilitated perfectionist. So this in and of itself deserves a celebration!) But when you are horrible at communication but project it on me - I do have a problem. One mistake does not equal a problem in communicating.

I was constantly following up with this sales person on calls not followed through with, on emails where I wasn't included but needed the answer, on reminders of outstanding items we had addressed numerous times, and the list goes on. Yet he was calling my boss relaying this was my weakness.

Before you blow up, rest up.  Take a breather and recognize how completely out of balance the situation is, but your reaction doesn't have to be. Be so confident in who you are that you don't allow another person to define you. Yes, it is natural as your first reaction to defend yourself, but be realistic with your expectations.  Let me explain....

I used to fight the unfair only to realize at the end of the day, it just didn't matter. My boss wasn't really interested in hearing all "sides" and the sales person was not going to change. I decided one day to stop this cycle and to take Maya Angelou's advise instead: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" about it.

I want to share this perspective - IT CAN BE LIBERATING.  When you know that another person is not going to change, you can stop caring about their behavior.  Translated:  You know where NOT to focus your time anymore!  You are free from expending any more energy towards that relationship.  You take that person at face value, knowing how they operate and you have a scripted response filed away for future reference - because you better believe you'll need it again!  

Be open to allowing people to show you who they are because they will every, single, time! Then accept it. This will set you up for more realistic expectations in the future - you see what will happen versus what you wish would happen.  We are all on our own unique journey, and it's not your job to school them on how to behave. Your only job is to be responsible for how you react. 

So how do you get to have your feelings yet not feel all over everyone?
Remove yourself from the situation, close your eyes and take five deep breaths & release.
If you can feel all your feelings now, go for it! 
If you're in the office, jot down main points in your journal to feel later.
Then FEEL ALL THE FEELINGS. 
This is where most of us just stuff them down, only for them to resurface later.
I can't stress this enough - FEEL ALL YOUR FEELINGS.
You deserve to feel whatever you feel.  It's what you do with those feelings that is important.
Decide - is this something you can change or is this something you need to change how you see?
If you can change, take action.
If not, change how you see it - in this case, projection is not about you. 
I get it projection feels personal but it couldn't be more impersonal.
It is about them. You are acting as a mirror, reflecting back to them something they need to heal.
Understand they may not be willing or may not want to see this. It's their journey.
When this happens, feel your feelings, then face them with the facts and move forward.

As I did with my boss, A-problem that happened, B-the solution offered & agreed upon. It would serve me no purpose to bring up all the examples of how hard it is to communicate (because A-my boss just wants it resolved, B-the sales person is not changing).

When you remove the personal aspect of things, you become the observer of the situation, removing yourself as the person that is being persecuted.  By observing the behavior, instead of blindly reacting to being triggered, you stand grounded in your power. You can choose a better response. And by doing so, you can allow in the Law of Attraction - positive thoughts bring positive results into your life - to take over from there.  

Projection is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to building successful relationships.  Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more.  Happy coaching brave ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
For more information: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Check out these blogs:  Universal Flow, Feel Your Way To Freedom, Are You An HSP?

You fellow seekers are totally going to relate to today's post!  I am always in some sort of analytical state.  Either living in the past trying to decipher what I can learn from a supposed mishap.  Or forging in the future to weigh out my options in order to choose the best version of myself.  

True to form, that's exactly where I found myself this morning, ruminating on my "faulty" behavior the day before....

However, instead of the normal criticism I lay on thick, I got really irritated at the process and thought "I am just human. So why do I keep doing this to myself in the name of self-improvement?" 

And it hit me. I do this because I very much dislike my human-ness, and how absurd is that? I am human!  Why am I fighting something I can do nothing about? 

Then another A-ha hit me! That is why I was aggravated and short with someone else yesterday - their human-ness.  I was having an outside scene played out to reflect back to me my inside dialogue. 

No matter how many times I use my emotions as a compass, it still thrills and excites me every time. Like it is the first time I discovered this process!  

You see our feelings are just messengers because our thoughts create our feelings that create our actions. So if we don't approve our of actions, all we need to do is use that feeling as a compass back to our original thought. 

As we observe our thought, we can decide if we are still in agreement with it.  This is where our power lies - in the choice. Where we get sideways is when we blindly react to an emotion before stopping to see where the emotion came from - what thought created it. 

I coach around Emotional Intelligence every day and am still in awe of how powerful and transformational it can be. And the reason I haven't perfected the process?  My Human-ness is why! And today, I'm quite happy for it too. After all, why fight what is when we can use our human-ness to grow? Today I garnered a little more compassion for myself and my fellow humans.  

Hopefully next time, I'll be a little more kind to us all but if I don't, I know why.  My human-ness, and the beauty of being human is that we are given a chance to choose again every second of every day. It's not about perfection folks, it's about the journey. Enjoying every step along the way - the good, bad and the ugly!  What human-ness can you say you're proud of today?

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
For more information: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Check out these blogs: ​ ​Healing, Expectations, Self-Care, Resilience, Parenting