I saw a psychic about 15 years ago that told me I was full of lots of fear. She was trying to tell me that fear was dictating my choices, but there was nothing to fear. My fear was an illusion, and if I could see the truth, my life will change. Well being the "I've gotta feel it for myself type of gal" that I am, I just thought - well who isn't afraid lady? And went about my business. Of making lots and lots and lots of choices. Based. In. Fear.

Fast forward a decade later and I finally "saw" this message as living proof in my life. I finally saw the pattern of emotional decisions based in fear vs. what could have been well thought out decisions based on my self-worth. Well, that's because at the time, I didn't have any confidence. Instead I built my life on a shaky foundation that eventually came crumbling down.

I got divorced, twice, to the same type of man no less. But he'd been dressed up in a different personality. So instead of acknowledging the red flags flying everywhere, I stayed camouflaged in denial. I ran up credit card balances, paid them off and ran them up again. I continued to use drugs and alcohol to cope. Only to find the next day the only coping I had was shame for my behavior the night before. Of course being hung over, I was in no mood to exercise or eat anything that resembled nutritious either. And the cycle went on like this for years.

Even though somewhere in the depth of my soul I knew this behavior was not my highest good, I kept staying in these cycles of defeat because I had grown used to them. You know, the old saying - better the devil that you know? I wanted to believe that it was better to deal with difficult people or situations that I knew instead of trying something new - for fear it could be worse.

We buy into fear's story because it pretends to be shielding us from future pain. Fear is able to do this because it feeds off of our insecurity. And we blindly believe the narrative because it feels so dang real. But please know this - just because we feel, does not make it real. F.E.A.R. stands for false evidence appearing real. So how do we get rid of the false appearing and find the real evidence?

You separate yourself from the storyline. When we feel fear, it's because the story we've told has become our identity. For example, when I knew I needed to divorce the second time, fear's voice kept telling me: You're too old, you'll never find anyone else. What a failure! What will people think, twice divorced? What a looser! You really are unlovable. 

Well with that dialogue going on, of course I'm going to feel even more fear and paralyzed to take action! I found that in order to move past my fear, into truth, I had to tackle each question head on. I had to see what was truth and what was myth. By taking "my character" out of the storyline and re-evaluating the story as an observer, I was able to detach my feelings to find the thoughts that had created this nasty narrative. Then and only then could I change the narrative. Once I had new thoughts, it created empowering feelings, which led to positive forward action.

What I learned was this:
You can't pick and choose the truth.
Fear often covers up the truth.
Letting go of shame gives you the power to face fear.
Once you face your fear, the truth is revealed.
Truth is the door that opens to love.
Love gives you the strength to take forward moving action.

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Feel Your Way to Freedom, Overcoming Self-confidence Traps, Heal Your Inner Child, From Setbacks to Setups, You Achieve What You Believe ​

I once heard a preacher say "worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it gets you no where."

Yes, logically that makes total sense. But what about our emotions? How do we move past how we feel when what we feel seems SO DANG REAL?

We honor our feelings. Because no matter how ugly the feelings you need to face, your emotions aren't going anywhere.  Yes, you can numb them with addictions.  Lord knows I've tried that route. Yes, the pain does go away - temporarily. But the next day, the confusion is only compounded.

So how do you make the leap from problem to prayer?  Begin with some POSITIVE SELF-TALK. 

There's a mantra I use when I know it's time to put on my big girl panties. "It stinks today so it will be better tomorrow." Pretty elementary I know, but it works!! By honoring our feelings, they will loosen their grip. When their grip isn't so tight, you can begin to feel hope. Hopeful you can indeed move past these current feelings.

With hope, you turn that problem into a prayer by speaking out your feelings and asking for help - PRAY. To be shown what you need to see. To be told what you need to hear. To be given the knowledge you need to overcome. Thank your Higher-Self for the guidance and let it go. You will be given intuitive guidance one step at a time. (Check out my blog on how to tap into your intuition for guidance.)

I used to make the mistake of trying to push my feelings down but they always resurfaced AND with a vengeance! I learned that by using a mantra and asking for help, I can turn a problem into a prayer. It shifts your focus from lack to faith, and with that shift, solutions will come your way!

Just understand this. Our ego wants to see the entire mapped out plan of how we are going to get from point a (the problem) to point b (the solution). This is not how our intuition works. It gives us step by step instructions. Once you have faithfully followed the first step, the next step will be given to us.

We learn two things - how to live in the present moment and how to develop our faith muscle.

By living in the present moment, we are no longer living in the illusion of time.  Where we look to the past in regret of what could have been, or sit in anxiety of what the future may bring. The present moment is where our power lies. In the present moment, we consciously decide how we wish to show up. We know the past has passed and even if we don't like how something turned out, we can always learn from it. We also know that our present day decisions are laying the groundwork for our future life experiences.

When we develop our faith muscle, we build self-confidence in our ability to co-create with the universe. Self-esteem issues always stem from the helpless feeling that you are going at life alone. This couldn't be further from the truth, but in order for you to believe it, you have to try it on for size! The next time you have a problem, turn it into prayer. Ask for the help you need. Then follow the guidance you are given. Nine times out of ten, it will be handled in a much better way than you could have devised.

Keep a journal of your victories and then pull it out the next time you find yourself challenged. Re-mind yourself you are not doing life alone. Say your affirming mantra. Honor all of your feelings. Ask for help with your problem. Follow through on your guidance.  TURN THAT PROBLEM INTO PRAYER!

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Destination or Distraction?, Letting Go, Expectations & Emotions

Distractions are such sneaky little boogers! They disguise themselves so well that we take the bait without ever having seen the hook.

I was always ready and willing to show up for some fight. All in the name of injustice. At work I was taking up for a coworker that was being bullied by the sales team. In my relationships, I was trying to right bad behavior. With my family, I was forever defending my reactions. And personally, I fought depression, body dysmorphia and flailing finances.

I was sidetracked by distractions all the time. Until I saw them for what they were - a pattern. I always seemed to be fighting, and this took up so much of my energy that I didn't have time to grow and expand.

I was at the crossroads of choice. Do I continue to fight any and everything that came my way? Or do I discern - Is this a Distraction or My Destination?

​- For work, I decided the office politics were a distraction. No one put me in charge. Therefore I had no authority to make any changes. I stuck to excellent client service and left the rest alone.
- For my relationships, I decided if someone could not hear how their behavior hurt me, they were no longer a part of my inner circle. This was a privilege, not something I needed to explain.
- For my family, I stopped trying to be right and decided to just be happy. I gave us all the space to just show up how we wanted to, and now we are in the best place we've ever been!
- As for my personal problems, I took ownership and responsibility for my feelings by way of my thoughts. Our thoughts create our feelings which create our actions. If you want your actions to change, take a look at the thoughts that are fueling them.

​Do you see a pattern in your life that you'd like to change?
Acknowledge how you feel.
Discover the root thought.
Ask for the help you need.
Commit to making a change.
And when you are triggered again, remind yourself: "This is a Distraction from my Destination!"

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: The Movie of Your Mind, To Be or Not to Be, The Secret Ingredient for Goal Setting, Self-Confidence Traps​

My soul sandwich is my morning ritual that re-minds me that I am a spirit having a human experience. It’s so easy to get swept away in our human experiences throughout the day and it’s totally normal!  If I serve my soul this sandwich though, it’s easier to move through a moment when I can’t seem to see the forest for the trees. 

The recipe has three ingredients: Gratitude, Prayer, Grounding.  Within moments of opening my eyes, I give Gratitude for the blessings in my life. Then I Pray “Please let me see what I need to see, hear what I need to hear and feel what I need to feel” so that I will remain open to following the guidance of my intuition. I sandwich this with Grounding myself. I put my feet on the ground while reaching my arms to the sky while affirming “I am grounded in Mother Earth while being guided by God my father.” 

Gratitude acknowledges my earthly existence. Prayer acknowledges that I don't have to go it alone. While Grounding myself marries the human and the spirit.

One of my recent experiences showed me just how powerful this soul sandwich is.  Even though I am happier and feel freer than I have in years, I have been feeling energetically stuck. Specifically, having difficulty in expressing my creativity.  

The weekend rolls around and even though I rarely do anything on a Friday night, I had a strong urge to reach out to my neighbors to make dinner plans. Since neither of us had our kids, we decided to treat ourselves to sushi in a part of town I rarely go.

On the way back to the car from dinner, we noticed a new hot yoga facility.  Before my son was born, hot yoga was my jam. The studio I attended was a bit of a drive, and it just became unpractical. I was ecstatic to see we had a studio now, but even more so that I'd allowed my intuition to bring me here.

I purchased a week unlimited and literally felt like I’d come back home. Remember my pray to hear, see and feel the information I needed?  Just like magic, I did!  It was my second chakra that was blocked and all the “evidence” (characteristics of this chakra) around me supported what my intuition told me. 

Hearing – in my meditation, I kept hearing water in the background of the spa music that played   Seeing – in both my gyms (orangetheory and the new yoga studio) the décor was orange                  Feeling – doing yoga sparked such enthusiasm that I finally created YouTube videos I'd avoided

To top it off (and you can’t make this stuff up folks), shortly after I'd put together all these pieces together, a frog was jumping around in my house. Frogs are symbols of potential.  Growing from a tadpole swimming around into a frog that hops around, frogs demonstrate the capacity for something so simple to evolve into something magnificent. 

I had been blocking my creative energy by worrying about whether it was good enough. When my focus should simply be on being creative, trusting the universe will match my energy and bring me everything I need. What an incredible hug I'd received from the universe.  What lesson could you benefit from serving up a Soul Sandwich?   

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones! 
 
Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ! 
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou 
Similar Blog Topics: Modern Day Miracles, Humanness, The Magic of Universal Flow

​I couldn't shake this feeling that I needed to strive for more balance, but I was so confused.  Here's the catch - I thought I was balanced because I had literally let go.  Not in a defeating kind of way but in a I'm not stressin' about things out of my control anymore way.

I was no longer obsessing over finances - I made a budget and moved forward.
My happiness was no longer tied to how much I weighed - Perimenopause can be a draaaaag!  
I was no longer focusing on when I'd meet "Mr. Right" - Even though I have coined myself the Queen of First Dates, at least I'm getting out there.

After all, I have made a beautiful and peaceful home for my son and I.  I have the most fantastic tribe of friends a woman can ask for.  We really want for nothing.  My family is happy and healthy.  Life is good.

So what's up with more balance????

After digging a bit deeper in meditation, opening myself up to signs and their interpretation, I finally "heard" the message.  

It wasn't balance of my human life, it was balance between my human life and my spiritual one.  I was focusing so much on my material world, I'd let my connection with the spiritual one go to the wayside.  It's so common too!

We are spirits having a human experience but we often forget that when we get bogged down in the day to day duties of life.  By reconnecting with our spirit, our Higher-self, we re-member just how powerful we are and get grounded in solutions versus problems.

The results are amazing!  Not only do we get trusted guidance from the 10k foot view, but physiologically we benefit too.  Your nervous system calms down, so the fight or flight is released for you to make better sound decisions.

Meditation is a great way to tap into your spirit's guidance, but it's not always convenient to stop where you're at, close your eyes, hum OM and get your answers!  So I'm gonna share how to get out of your head and into your heart no matter where you are or what you're doing.

When you've found yourself at a crossroad - whether it's your fight or flight kickin' in or you're just plain confused - do three easy steps:  Stop, Breath and Receive.

Stop - what you're doing: moving, thinking, doing, going
Breath - breath in for 5, hold for 5, release for 5 (repeat until you feel more calm)
Receive - take the first thought as your answer to what to do next

Now your mind is most likely going to tell you it's hogwash, but I'm here to tell you it works.  Every.  Single.  Time.  You just have to practice to get your "proof".

Your logical mind fights this process because it wants to know all the steps right now.  Your intuition doesn't work that way.  It gives you one step at a time. You literally have to walk in faith, but as you do so you begin to trust the process.

When I first starting working with my intuition, I kept a small journal in my purse to jot down synchronicities that happened and it was so much fun looking back at the process and how beautifully it had all unfolded.  But don't just believe me, try it out for yourself!

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics: Human vs. Spirit, The Magic of Universal Flow, Use Your Intuition to Find Your Mission, Feel Your Way to Freedom

I can't tell you how many times I've looked at a goal I'm working on and said, "Why in the world is this taking so long?  All I've done is think about this and how much I want it.  What gives?!?!?"

Thinking.  That's what gives.  Nine times out of ten when we've set out to do something and we take note of how far along we actually are versus how far along we think we should be it's because there is a gap between an Expectation and Intention.  We've thought about it more than we've actually been doing anything about it.  And - there's nothing wrong with that!  Let me explain.

When we are taking an idea in our head and manifesting it into reality, visualization (aka thinking about it in great detail) is a great way to start.  Our brains are wired to then attract to us situations that will help us create our dream into a reality.  This is where I got stuck - I never moved past the visualization and into taking some action....

Let's take working out as an example.  I used to put a lot of time and energy into what kind of exercise was the latest fad, how much time I should be doing it and when the schedule fit my working hours.  I found this fancy membership near my job that I could go to at lunch.  The club not only offered all the latest classes, but also had a pool for my son and I to swim in, spa treatments and tennis courts for the weekends. I had set myself up to reach my fitness goals by taking action to join the gym.  What I wasn't doing was going on a regular basis.

It was feast or famine for me. If I'd over-indulged on the weekend, I went crazy the next week.  Wore myself out and chilled the next week which lingered into another week. Then I'd indulge again and the cycle would begin again.

I spent a lot of time thinking about exercising - instead of designing an exercise program that was manageable enough to follow.  I know it may sound elementary but I was driving myself nuts. Until one day I was brave enough to be honest with myself.  It wasn't my gym.  It wasn't my perimenopausal body (although let's face it, that didn't help much!).  It wasn't the type of exercise that wasn't yielding results.  It was me.  I was self-sabotaging.

So how do we bridge the gap between Expectations and Intention?  You take it to the next level by getting the ideas out of your head and onto some paper.  Mind-mapping is when you take a larger goal and break it into smaller, more manageable pieces.

Mind-Mapping 101:  
Identify a large goal.
Break it into steps and assign these steps to a month.
Each month break down this step into four weeks.
At the start of each week, break out that week's goal into days.
Then keep a journal of your progress and adjust accordingly.

The goal is to hold yourself accountable.  I do this using several tools:
I use a journal to list my large yearly goals (health, career, social, financial, community).
I then take a page per month and divvy out these goals.
I use a monthly calendar on my wall to display that month's tasks.
Then I break the monthly tasks out into weekly goals.
Last, I use my phone calendar to track daily activity for that week's goal(s).

Also keep in mind - life happens!  So adjust as you need to.  I was crushing my goals earlier this year, having finished writing my book and had it edited, I just knew I'd be in print by spring.  Then bam, I had to have surgery.  Hopefully your life won't be quite as eventful as mine was but if you do need to make adjustments, it's ok.  Each new day (each new minute really) is an invitation to start again.

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics:  Killin' Time with Idle Minds, Use Your Intuition to Find Your Mission, The Secret Ingredients to Goal Setting, Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone