I can't tell you how many times I've looked at a goal I'm working on and said, "Why in the world is this taking so long?  All I've done is think about this and how much I want it.  What gives?!?!?"

Thinking.  That's what gives.  Nine times out of ten when we've set out to do something and we take note of how far along we actually are versus how far along we think we should be it's because there is a gap between an Expectation and Intention.  We've thought about it more than we've actually been doing anything about it.  And - there's nothing wrong with that!  Let me explain.

When we are taking an idea in our head and manifesting it into reality, visualization (aka thinking about it in great detail) is a great way to start.  Our brains are wired to then attract to us situations that will help us create our dream into a reality.  This is where I got stuck - I never moved past the visualization and into taking some action....

Let's take working out as an example.  I used to put a lot of time and energy into what kind of exercise was the latest fad, how much time I should be doing it and when the schedule fit my working hours.  I found this fancy membership near my job that I could go to at lunch.  The club not only offered all the latest classes, but also had a pool for my son and I to swim in, spa treatments and tennis courts for the weekends. I had set myself up to reach my fitness goals by taking action to join the gym.  What I wasn't doing was going on a regular basis.

It was feast or famine for me. If I'd over-indulged on the weekend, I went crazy the next week.  Wore myself out and chilled the next week which lingered into another week. Then I'd indulge again and the cycle would begin again.

I spent a lot of time thinking about exercising - instead of designing an exercise program that was manageable enough to follow.  I know it may sound elementary but I was driving myself nuts. Until one day I was brave enough to be honest with myself.  It wasn't my gym.  It wasn't my perimenopausal body (although let's face it, that didn't help much!).  It wasn't the type of exercise that wasn't yielding results.  It was me.  I was self-sabotaging.

So how do we bridge the gap between Expectations and Intention?  You take it to the next level by getting the ideas out of your head and onto some paper.  Mind-mapping is when you take a larger goal and break it into smaller, more manageable pieces.

Mind-Mapping 101:  
Identify a large goal.
Break it into steps and assign these steps to a month.
Each month break down this step into four weeks.
At the start of each week, break out that week's goal into days.
Then keep a journal of your progress and adjust accordingly.

The goal is to hold yourself accountable.  I do this using several tools:
I use a journal to list my large yearly goals (health, career, social, financial, community).
I then take a page per month and divvy out these goals.
I use a monthly calendar on my wall to display that month's tasks.
Then I break the monthly tasks out into weekly goals.
Last, I use my phone calendar to track daily activity for that week's goal(s).

Also keep in mind - life happens!  So adjust as you need to.  I was crushing my goals earlier this year, having finished writing my book and had it edited, I just knew I'd be in print by spring.  Then bam, I had to have surgery.  Hopefully your life won't be quite as eventful as mine was but if you do need to make adjustments, it's ok.  Each new day (each new minute really) is an invitation to start again.

Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more about EQ and how it can change your life - like it did mine. Happy coaching Brave Ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Emotional Intelligence Coaching: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Similar Blog Topics:  Killin' Time with Idle Minds, Use Your Intuition to Find Your Mission, The Secret Ingredients to Goal Setting, Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

You gotta love it when people call you out for THEIR behavior.  This happened to me over and over again in Corporate America.  And. It. Drove. Me. Nuts! 

Example.... there is a miscommunication with a client. So you just fix it, but the sales person wants to talk it out.  I'm ok with that. After all, that's how we grow and learn - from mistakes. What drove me crazy was then having the sales person call my boss to complain that I am not communicating efficiently - after we worked it out and are in agreement how to move forward.

I don't have a problem with constructive criticism when I have done something wrong and need to learn from it. (I'm a a rehabilitated perfectionist. So this in and of itself deserves a celebration!) But when you are horrible at communication but project it on me - I do have a problem. One mistake does not equal a problem in communicating.

I was constantly following up with this sales person on calls not followed through with, on emails where I wasn't included but needed the answer, on reminders of outstanding items we had addressed numerous times, and the list goes on. Yet he was calling my boss relaying this was my weakness.

Before you blow up, rest up.  Take a breather and recognize how completely out of balance the situation is, but your reaction doesn't have to be. Be so confident in who you are that you don't allow another person to define you. Yes, it is natural as your first reaction to defend yourself, but be realistic with your expectations.  Let me explain....

I used to fight the unfair only to realize at the end of the day, it just didn't matter. My boss wasn't really interested in hearing all "sides" and the sales person was not going to change. I decided one day to stop this cycle and to take Maya Angelou's advise instead: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" about it.

I want to share this perspective - IT CAN BE LIBERATING.  When you know that another person is not going to change, you can stop caring about their behavior.  Translated:  You know where NOT to focus your time anymore!  You are free from expending any more energy towards that relationship.  You take that person at face value, knowing how they operate and you have a scripted response filed away for future reference - because you better believe you'll need it again!  

Be open to allowing people to show you who they are because they will every, single, time! Then accept it. This will set you up for more realistic expectations in the future - you see what will happen versus what you wish would happen.  We are all on our own unique journey, and it's not your job to school them on how to behave. Your only job is to be responsible for how you react. 

So how do you get to have your feelings yet not feel all over everyone?
Remove yourself from the situation, close your eyes and take five deep breaths & release.
If you can feel all your feelings now, go for it! 
If you're in the office, jot down main points in your journal to feel later.
Then FEEL ALL THE FEELINGS. 
This is where most of us just stuff them down, only for them to resurface later.
I can't stress this enough - FEEL ALL YOUR FEELINGS.
You deserve to feel whatever you feel.  It's what you do with those feelings that is important.
Decide - is this something you can change or is this something you need to change how you see?
If you can change, take action.
If not, change how you see it - in this case, projection is not about you. 
I get it projection feels personal but it couldn't be more impersonal.
It is about them. You are acting as a mirror, reflecting back to them something they need to heal.
Understand they may not be willing or may not want to see this. It's their journey.
When this happens, feel your feelings, then face them with the facts and move forward.

As I did with my boss, A-problem that happened, B-the solution offered & agreed upon. It would serve me no purpose to bring up all the examples of how hard it is to communicate (because A-my boss just wants it resolved, B-the sales person is not changing).

When you remove the personal aspect of things, you become the observer of the situation, removing yourself as the person that is being persecuted.  By observing the behavior, instead of blindly reacting to being triggered, you stand grounded in your power. You can choose a better response. And by doing so, you can allow in the Law of Attraction - positive thoughts bring positive results into your life - to take over from there.  

Projection is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to building successful relationships.  Follow me on Instagram, schedule a free consultation or check out these blogs to learn more.  Happy coaching brave ones!

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
For more information: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Check out these blogs:  Universal Flow, Feel Your Way To Freedom, Are You An HSP?

You fellow seekers are totally going to relate to today's post!  I am always in some sort of analytical state.  Either living in the past trying to decipher what I can learn from a supposed mishap.  Or forging in the future to weigh out my options in order to choose the best version of myself.  

True to form, that's exactly where I found myself this morning, ruminating on my "faulty" behavior the day before....

However, instead of the normal criticism I lay on thick, I got really irritated at the process and thought "I am just human. So why do I keep doing this to myself in the name of self-improvement?" 

And it hit me. I do this because I very much dislike my human-ness, and how absurd is that? I am human!  Why am I fighting something I can do nothing about? 

Then another A-ha hit me! That is why I was aggravated and short with someone else yesterday - their human-ness.  I was having an outside scene played out to reflect back to me my inside dialogue. 

No matter how many times I use my emotions as a compass, it still thrills and excites me every time. Like it is the first time I discovered this process!  

You see our feelings are just messengers because our thoughts create our feelings that create our actions. So if we don't approve our of actions, all we need to do is use that feeling as a compass back to our original thought. 

As we observe our thought, we can decide if we are still in agreement with it.  This is where our power lies - in the choice. Where we get sideways is when we blindly react to an emotion before stopping to see where the emotion came from - what thought created it. 

I coach around Emotional Intelligence every day and am still in awe of how powerful and transformational it can be. And the reason I haven't perfected the process?  My Human-ness is why! And today, I'm quite happy for it too. After all, why fight what is when we can use our human-ness to grow? Today I garnered a little more compassion for myself and my fellow humans.  

Hopefully next time, I'll be a little more kind to us all but if I don't, I know why.  My human-ness, and the beauty of being human is that we are given a chance to choose again every second of every day. It's not about perfection folks, it's about the journey. Enjoying every step along the way - the good, bad and the ugly!  What human-ness can you say you're proud of today?

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
For more information: https://linktr.ee/bebravebeyou
Check out these blogs: ​ ​Healing, Expectations, Self-Care, Resilience, Parenting

This is the first thought that came to me this morning. At first it just washed that familiar wave of depression over me but after I sat with it a while in meditation I saw it from a different angle. I re-minded myself that is the crux of developing Emotional Intelligence. The work is never done. Just do the work. This is my lifeline back to reality. Luckily these moments are very few and very far between now, but I was quickly reminded what I have already learned and can apply to this moment.

I am a survivor of verbal and emotional abuse. So when confronted with an overbearing narcissist, even though I know I am not being unreasonable, if pushed enough I can begin to question myself. This was the cause of the depression this morning. Having no choice but having to deal with this narcissist can be very overwhelming at the least. At the most, I find myself sitting in a very dark hole that seemingly has no way out.

For years my self-esteem was chipped away at. For years I second guessed my sanity. For years very bad behavior was projected onto me as my own.  For years I over-analyzed everything I said in hopes that one day he might "hear" me. But one day I got brave and I chose me. I chose to love myself so much that I built up the courage to leave this relationship. I was so empowered by this, but I soon found this was not enough.

Because I didn't do the work, I ended up in yet another narcissistic relationship. But it was very hard to detect it at first. You see this time the narcissist was covert. He pretended to have my best interests at heart, always saying the right thing, but after some time he couldn't keep his predatory behavior a secret any longer and I started experiencing reruns from my previous relationship. 

Once again, I put on my big girl panties and left this relationship as well, but I did something very different this time. I started doing the work. The work of uncovering what lead me to be in these relationships. What thought patterns I had on automatic loop that made me think I was not worthy of something better. I took responsibility. Not for their behavior, but for how I ended up there.

The work is not for the faint hearted, but I can promise you it is worth it! The work I am referencing is building Emotional Intelligence. EI is the ability to ​recognize, evaluate and regulate your own emotions, emotions of those around you and in groups of people. I learned how to build my self-confidence. I learned how to manage my expectations. I learned how to use discernment over judgement to decide who gets the privilege of being in my life.

This was the lifeline that was thrown to me this morning. That soft voice whispering to me in meditation. Come back. Do the work. That is all. No, you did nothing wrong. You just stood up for yourself. Your request was not irrational. You just triggered a narcissist. Nothing more. Nothing less. You can choose. You get to let his visceral reaction go in one ear and out the other. And being a sensitive, empathic person, this is like winning the gold at the Olympics. But I did. I won it, and I will keep on winning it one choice at a time. 

I am so very passionate about this work that I want to share what I have learned with other survivors. You can just as easily do what I did. It is a choice. Mind you, not one that doesn't come with work, but one that is very worth it. As Amanda Gorman so eloquently said at the inauguration, "There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it."

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!
Tips & Tricks:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
My Stories:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

For more information, check out my blogs: ​ Expectations & Emotions, You Achieve What You Believe, Self-care is Not Selfish, From Setbacks to Setups, Heal Your Inner Child

Universal Flow 
When I first saw this quote, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.  All I kept thinking was – this is backwards!  It was backwards to me at the time because I was living in opposition to the flow of universal energy.  I was forcing my way through life, instead of going with the flow.  But it wasn’t in error.  I was simply living as I’d been taught to.  As many of us have. 

You set a goal.  You break it down into steps.  And you make it happen.  Of course, setting goals is great, and I highly recommend it.  However, the step we are not taught in the equation is what to do when things don’t go as planned.  Let’s face it, more times than not this is the case.  So how do we handle it?  We forge our way through.  We force things to fall into place.  We muscle through. 

I’m happy to share there is a much easier way.  But I will lay it out there.  It’s going to seem counterintuitive to what you think the answer is.  Instead of acting, do the opposite.  Let it go.  By letting go, I don’t mean let go of your goal.  What I mean is let go of the way you think it should happen.  Stop focusing on the solution you came up with and trust that a new path will become apparent to you. 

This begins with Trust.  Now trust is not something we just grab off the shelf.  Like any relationship, building trust in the universal flow of life takes time.  You must acquire proven life experience that it works. So that trust builds.  Each time you take the leap of faith, you remember the outcome the last time you did and it gives you the courage to let go, trust that universe has your back, and that a solution will be given to you. 

“Life is the dancer and you are the dance means you stop the struggle and learn to move with the flow of your life. Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don't live your life, but life lives you.” - Eckhart Tolle 

In trusting the universal flow of life, we must live in the present moment.  This is what Eckhart means by being one with the now.  Living in the present moment means we no longer live with our regrets of yesterday and our worries of tomorrow, but instead live consciously in the moment we are in right now.  We do this by becoming aware of the thought patterns we have on autopilot and change the narrative from fear to faith. 

It works because my life is proof!  I used to force myself to be committed to a career just because I went to school for it.  I forced myself to stay in a committed relationship even though the other person was not committed to me because I made a commitment.  I forced myself to retain friendships just because we’d been friends for years. And I was miserable until one day, little by little, I began trading the reasons why I should for the reason why I wanted to.  I slowly phased out friendships that no longer supported me.  I began to follow a career path that made my heart sing.  I changed the locks on my house and in my heart to move on from a one-sided relationship. 

In no way am I saying it was easy.  What I am saying, is it was worth it!  My passion to share my life experiences with parents is so you can instill this in your kiddos early.  Let’s teach them that missing step to the equation.  Let’s teach them how to handle things when they don’t go as planned and how to leave situations that don’t serve them.  Because there is no reason to stay where you are not appreciated or where your growth is stunted just because at one point you thought that was the direction you wanted to take.  
 
The Kids' Korner 
Now how do we teach our kiddos about this universal flow?  First, we need to get comfortable with the process ourselves – we shift from asking our head to asking our heart for direction.  Your head is limited to your experiences and knowledge.  Whereas your heart is connected to your higher self that has access to all universal knowledge. 

What is something you’ve been struggling with?  Can you admit you have exhausted all resources?  Good.  Then you simply stop.  And breath.  This relaxes your nervous system and opens you up for alternate answers.  Once you are relaxed, go have fun.  This takes your mind of searching for a solution and it creates endorphins that aid in finding one. 

When you’re ready to approach again, sit quietly and ask for direction.  Then listen to your heart’s answer aka your intuition.  Take action steps accordingly.  Then watch as the universe supports your actions through synchronicities. 

Keep a journal with you and when inspiration sparks, write it down.  You will not be given the ultimate game plan, but you will be given steps and each bread crumb leads to the next step.  Before you know it, you’ve made it to the other side – successfully and without struggle! 

Now that you’ve proven to yourself that it works, find an experience your kiddo is going through and work with them through these steps.  Use your life experiences as examples or “proof” of the success in letting things go, in the success of following universal flow.
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching - The Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
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Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
 
For more information, check out my blogs: ​ Expectations & Emotions, You Achieve What You Believe, Use Your Intuition To Find Your Mission

​​Taking a break .... or so you thought!
Now that spring break was here, we could take a break from teaching! WooHoo! But what I noticed about five minutes into my week’s retirement is that my brain took over. Now it doesn’t help that I’ve been going down memory lane cleaning out boxes and boxes of keepsakes I’ve had store in my basement since I moved in 13 years ago and simultaneously when my parents moved out of my childhood home.  I’ve found notes from my grandparents that have since passed, family funnies (my family LOVES to give cards – it's kinda our thing), friends I’d forgotten, pictures from trips I’d taken, journals from too long ago to admit and of course – the old flames.  Wow did all of this conjure up some memories.... AND some feelings. 
 
Time is Tricky 
You’d think after a certain amount of time, these keepsakes would just be a memory. But it turned out to be so much more.  All of our life experiences are energetically stored and most of us really only remember the good in our past but sometimes when you’ve had a challenging relationship or someone has passed, you tend to feel a lot more.   
 
My grandparents’ hand-written letters telling me how much they loved and are proud of me gave me the feeling that this note from the past allowed me to talk to them in the present.  Of course I knew they loved me and were proud of me at the time – they told me often but now as a mom, it meant so much more.  These letters made me realize how important words are.  It made me realize how important my words to my son are.  My words now are literally laying the groundwork for his future self-confidence. 

The old flames and past friendships, however, brought about a much different feeling.  I relived our past “stories” and some had not so great endings.  At first, this made me look back at my behavior in judgement but then I was reminded of a Maya Angelou quote “when you know better, you do better.” Then my view immediately switched to seeing how far I had come.  To see the relationships as the gifts they are truly were.  I wouldn’t be the person I am today had I not had these experiences.  Being grateful helped me let go of past expectations, accept them for what they were & move forward. 
 
My Take-Away on Time 
So how do we tackle this thing called time so we can live fully present in this moment – not regretting the past or fretting over the future? We use our feelings as our guide.  As they pop up, we address in what “time” they pop up – past, present or future. 

By using these mantras when our feelings arise, we can grow in our perspective of time:  
Letting go of the past – I did the very best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. 
Accepting the present – Everything is unfolding exactly how it is supposed to be. 
Worrying about the future – The universe always has a plan for me. 
 
Coupled with these mantras, these tools help us honor our feelings while also using them to grow: 
Gratitude – for how far you’ve come and for all the blessings in your life 
Breathwork – to bravely face your feelings so you can move past the not so pleasant ones 
Acceptance – for exactly who you are, perfectly and beautifully made doing the very best you can 
 
The Kid’s Korner 
Be a great role model to your kiddo by teaching them these tools.  After all, we are their original teachers!   
 
Start a gratitude practice with your kiddos.  At breakfast every morning, have each family member state something they are grateful for.   
 
By teaching your kids breathwork (see my Breath in Hope, Breath out Anxiety Post Breathwork 101) you teach them how to process overwhelming feelings in the moment instead of ignoring them or blaming how they feel on others.  
 
Most importantly, let’s teach them acceptance for who they are.  After all, once we start accepting ourselves, we learn to have more tolerance and compassion for others. And what a great world our children will lead from this perspective! - The Mom's Coach 
Let me support you marvelous mamas as you support your family:  
Tips & Tricks:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
My Stories:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
 
For more information, check out my blogs: Expectations & Emotions, Feel Your Way to Freedom, Self-Confidence Traps & How to Overcome

Expectations and emotions.  Now that’s a loaded topic, right?  Even more so when we’re talking about our kids & emotions.  Then add to that unexpected circumstances we can’t just fix?  That used to be what I’d define as a hot mess! 

But it doesn’t have to be.  And that’s the hope I want to offer as we all adapt to our new normal.  The good news is that the old debate between the working mom and stay at home mom has officially been squashed.  Because regardless of the camp in which you reside, we’ve all been given the new title – TEACHER. And let’s be honest, the title mom alone was already a full-time position that could easily be filled by at least 5 human beings – housekeeper, chef, chauffer, launder and counselor.  

I don’t know about yall, but it’s been a lot.  For many reasons.  First, I’m super type-A and I love trying to control the outcome. (Ok, maybe I’m recovering-A because I did just use the word “trying”.)  I set high expectations.  I also work well in structured schedules.  And I am a social butterfly. 

For anyone that’s been a quarantined homeschooler for a week now knows that all of the above just got thrown out the window!  Those expectations I set for life just laughed right in my face, turned around and ran away.  I decided if I was going to adapt to my new normal, I better find that zen-go-with-the-flow-yoga-girl I so idolize. 

Well …. let’s just say I’m still in hot pursuit of that girl because she’s nowhere to be found (shocker, right?).  Plan B: let’s get down to some coping mechanisms instead …. what do we do when we can’t do anything? 

Coping with expectations is master’s level work when it comes to emotional intelligence.  When we can bridge the gap between what we want to happen versus the reality of what’s really going on, we’re well on our way to emotional freedom.  

It can be hard though because feelings of disappointment stink.  BUT what we all fail to realize is that there is NOTHING wrong with this feeling.  Where we take a wrong turn is when we don’t allow ourselves to feel these feelings.  The big secret is, once we feel them, they no longer have control over us! 

Once our feelings no longer control us, we can take intentional action to change the feeling.  One of my go-to methods for healing an expectation is called Retrain Your Brain. You literally flip your perspective from seeing a disappointment to seeing a gift.   

This is what I did when I became a full-time employee working from home, full-time teacher with NO prior experience and full-time stay at home mom to a very energetic yet fabulously cute 9 year-old boy.  

Yes, if I look at it on paper, all lined up and in print, it invokes much deserved anxiety.  Yet, do I want to sit in that anxiety?  Or do I want to move on to a better feeling?  I chose to vote for the latter option. So I put the old Retrain Your Brain methodology to work. I asked myself, since I can’t do anything to change my current situation, what can I learn from it?  I started focusing on all that I am gaining instead. 

I get to be the stay at home I’d always dreamed of being and didn’t have the opportunity to do;  I get to spend more time with my son on his school during the day instead of rushed, forced homework at night (with tantrums and tears) after getting home from work and before taking him to baseball;  I get to take daily walks in the neighborhood where my son tells me all about what goes on in his head (truly a gift from a very active, on the go, kinda guy);  I get to do fun, special projects with my son every single day (and not just on the weekends);  I get to spend time with my older gentleman, a 13 year-old chocolate lab and crazy kitties;  I finally got the cat that’s shown up at our door to let me pet her – we now have adopted her too!   

I can tell by now you’ve got the drift of how this works. Now you try it.  After all, we never teach our kiddo something we haven’t first proven to ourselves to work.  Embrace how focusing on what you can control feels so much better than fighting what you can’t change.  See how much more energy it gives you. What extra things did you accomplish with this energy? 

Ask your kiddo about a disappointment.  Have them tell you what they wished had happened and how they feel.  Tell them it’s perfectly ok to feel that way.  Ask them if they had to do it over, what could they have done differently.  If nothing, way to go you did your best!  If yes, then guess what? You learned something new.  Either way it’s a win- win! When we teach our kids that disappointments are wins too, they train their brain to learn from disappointments instead of becoming defined by them. 

Now let’s go teach our kiddos!  We ARE their greatest role model.  Let’s unite in this moment moms and agree to use this current situation to show our kids how great we can handle the unexpected.  You are investing in their successful emotional future and after all, we mamas are the original teachers! 
​
I want to support you marvelous mamas during this challenging time.  Join my community for daily tips & tricks https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou/ and email me for free coaching support Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org - You GOT this!   
- The Mom’s Coach 
www.BeBraveBeYou.org 
#bebravebeyou   
#EQisthenewIQ   
#theMOMScoach  
#teachyourchildrenwell 

For more information, check out my blogs: Feel Your Way to Freedom, From Setbacks to Setups,
Learn the Power of EQ

The Most Important Person to Listen to is You 
It took me quite a long time to buy this story and understandably so!  When your outside world is a hot mess, it’s a hard pill to swallow that you might just be responsible for it.  I mean who in the world would want negative people or experiences in their life?  Don’t we all just want peace and joy? 
​
Of course, we do and the good news is, we have more control over the situation than we think we do. Simply put, our outside world is a reflection of our inside conversation.  What we think we synch. So in my case, I once thought I was unworthy of love. In turn I attracted people and circumstances that showed me I was unworthy – disloyal friends, men that used and betrayed me and financial failure just to name a few. 

It wasn’t until I admitted to myself that I was the common denominator in all my life’s drama that I begin to regain my personal power. I discovered that my thoughts were the root to all my life’s circumstances.  Yes!  Our thoughts are that powerful because they turn into “our story” that we tell, which becomes our belief system. 

Begin by Taking Responsibility
Discovering the sheer power of your thoughts is both liberating and scary.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. If you want a different outcome than you’ve had in the past, you need to retrain your brain to think differently. But how was I to monitor every thought I had?  It sounded so very exhausting.  

It is actually quite simple.  You start with how you feel. Most of us choose one of two ways to process feelings.  Either you suppress them by stuffing them down and pretending they don’t exist. Or you can get stuck in the never-ending hamster wheel of over-analyzing them (this was my poison). Both are simply a way to avoid the feeling. It’s natural.  We just want to protect ourselves from being hurt but the fact remains the feelings won’t go away. Might as well face them head on! 

Be the Master of Your Thoughts, Not the Servant
The healthiest way sounds so rudimentary but it works as simply as it sounds – just feel how you feel.  Acknowledge – that made me mad, sad, stuck, lost – whatever feeling it is that has arisen. Breath into this acknowledgement. Then, instead of shaming or judging yourself, begin to get curious by asking questions about your feelings.  

Through our feelings we become more conscious of our thoughts.  This is because our feelings are triggered by our thoughts. If you have good thoughts, you have good feelings and then you take positive action.  The opposite is true as well – think negatively, feel negatively, take negative actions.  I was all too familiar with the latter scene. So, I decided to try the opposite, it worked! 

In physics this is called the Observer Effect - the mere observation of a phenomenon inevitably changes that phenomenon. By becoming aware of how we feel, we can decide if our thoughts need to change.  We simultaneously build our self-confidence because we are now in the driver’s seat.  We are in control of our actions.  Therefore, we operate from a place of decision making rather than just reacting to a feeling.  

Voila, you’ve now become the victor of your reality, not the victim of some circumstance!  You have taken back your personal power by taking responsibility for your thoughts which can now manifest as positive experiences in your life.  

t would be my pleasure to work with your family on intuition and to teach you what I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 

For more information, check out my blog Healing My Inner Child:
www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2019/09/eq-is-the-new-iq4146244.html

As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ​
 
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Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ!