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The work is never over

1/21/2021

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This is the first thought that came to me this morning. At first it just washed that familiar wave of depression over me but after I sat with it a while in meditation I saw it from a different angle. I re-minded myself that is the crux of developing Emotional Intelligence. The work is never done. Just do the work. This is my lifeline back to reality. Luckily these moments are very few and very far between now, but I was quickly reminded what I have already learned and can apply to this moment.

I am a survivor of verbal and emotional abuse. So when confronted with an overbearing narcissist, even though I know I am not being unreasonable, if pushed enough I can begin to question myself. This was the cause of the depression this morning. Having no choice but having to deal with this narcissist can be very overwhelming at the least. At the most, I find myself sitting in a very dark hole that seemingly has no way out.

For years my self-esteem was chipped away at. For years I second guessed my sanity. For years very bad behavior was projected onto me as my own.  For years I over-analyzed everything I said in hopes that one day he might "hear" me. But one day I got brave and I chose me. I chose to love myself so much that I built up the courage to leave this relationship. I was so empowered by this, but I soon found this was not enough.

Because I didn't do the work, I ended up in yet another narcissistic relationship. But it was very hard to detect it at first. You see this time the narcissist was covert. He pretended to have my best interests at heart, always saying the right thing, but after some time he couldn't keep his predatory behavior a secret any longer and I started experiencing reruns from my previous relationship. 

Once again, I put on my big girl panties and left this relationship as well, but I did something very different this time. I started doing the work. The work of uncovering what lead me to be in these relationships. What thought patterns I had on automatic loop that made me think I was not worthy of something better. I took responsibility. Not for their behavior, but for how I ended up there.

The work is not for the faint hearted, but I can promise you it is worth it! The work I am referencing is building Emotional Intelligence. EI is the ability to ​recognize, evaluate and regulate your own emotions, emotions of those around you and in groups of people. I learned how to build my self-confidence. I learned how to manage my expectations. I learned how to use discernment over judgement to decide who gets the privilege of being in my life.

This was the lifeline that was thrown to me this morning. That soft voice whispering to me in meditation. Come back. Do the work. That is all. No, you did nothing wrong. You just stood up for yourself. Your request was not irrational. You just triggered a narcissist. Nothing more. Nothing less. You can choose. You get to let his visceral reaction go in one ear and out the other. And being a sensitive, empathic person, this is like winning the gold at the Olympics. But I did. I won it, and I will keep on winning it one choice at a time. 

I am so very passionate about this work that I want to share what I have learned with other survivors. You can just as easily do what I did. It is a choice. Mind you, not one that doesn't come with work, but one that is very worth it. As Amanda Gorman so eloquently said at the inauguration, "
There is always light. If only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it."

Be Brave, Be You - Learn the Power of EQ!

Tips & Tricks:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
My Stories:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

For more information, check out my blogs: ​ Expectations & Emotions, You Achieve What You Believe, Self-care is Not Selfish, From Setbacks to Setups, Heal Your Inner Child
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THE MAGIC OF UNIVERSAL FLOW

7/9/2020

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Universal Flow 
When I first saw this quote, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.  All I kept thinking was – this is backwards!  It was backwards to me at the time because I was living in opposition to the flow of universal energy.  I was forcing my way through life, instead of going with the flow.  But it wasn’t in error.  I was simply living as I’d been taught to.  As many of us have. 

You set a goal.  You break it down into steps.  And you make it happen.  Of course, setting goals is great, and I highly recommend it.  However, the step we are not taught in the equation is what to do when things don’t go as planned.  Let’s face it, more times than not this is the case.  So how do we handle it?  We forge our way through.  We force things to fall into place.  We muscle through. 

I’m happy to share there is a much easier way.  But I will lay it out there.  It’s going to seem counterintuitive to what you think the answer is.  Instead of acting, do the opposite.  Let it go.  By letting go, I don’t mean let go of your goal.  What I mean is let go of the way you think it should happen.  Stop focusing on the solution you came up with and trust that a new path will become apparent to you. 

This begins with Trust.  Now trust is not something we just grab off the shelf.  Like any relationship, building trust in the universal flow of life takes time.  You must acquire proven life experience that it works. So that trust builds.  Each time you take the leap of faith, you remember the outcome the last time you did and it gives you the courage to let go, trust that universe has your back, and that a solution will be given to you. 

“Life is the dancer and you are the dance means you stop the struggle and learn to move with the flow of your life. Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don't live your life, but life lives you.” - Eckhart Tolle 

In trusting the universal flow of life, we must live in the present moment.  This is what Eckhart means by being one with the now.  Living in the present moment means we no longer live with our regrets of yesterday and our worries of tomorrow, but instead live consciously in the moment we are in right now.  We do this by becoming aware of the thought patterns we have on autopilot and change the narrative from fear to faith. 

It works because my life is proof!  I used to force myself to be committed to a career just because I went to school for it.  I forced myself to stay in a committed relationship even though the other person was not committed to me because I made a commitment.  I forced myself to retain friendships just because we’d been friends for years. And I was miserable until one day, little by little, I began trading the reasons why I should for the reason why I wanted to.  I slowly phased out friendships that no longer supported me.  I began to follow a career path that made my heart sing.  I changed the locks on my house and in my heart to move on from a one-sided relationship. 

In no way am I saying it was easy.  What I am saying, is it was worth it!  My passion to share my life experiences with parents is so you can instill this in your kiddos early.  Let’s teach them that missing step to the equation.  Let’s teach them how to handle things when they don’t go as planned and how to leave situations that don’t serve them.  Because there is no reason to stay where you are not appreciated or where your growth is stunted just because at one point you thought that was the direction you wanted to take.  
 
The Kids' Korner 
Now how do we teach our kiddos about this universal flow?  First, we need to get comfortable with the process ourselves – we shift from asking our head to asking our heart for direction.  Your head is limited to your experiences and knowledge.  Whereas your heart is connected to your higher self that has access to all universal knowledge. 

What is something you’ve been struggling with?  Can you admit you have exhausted all resources?  Good.  Then you simply stop.  And breath.  This relaxes your nervous system and opens you up for alternate answers.  Once you are relaxed, go have fun.  This takes your mind of searching for a solution and it creates endorphins that aid in finding one. 

When you’re ready to approach again, sit quietly and ask for direction.  Then listen to your heart’s answer aka your intuition.  Take action steps accordingly.  Then watch as the universe supports your actions through synchronicities. 

Keep a journal with you and when inspiration sparks, write it down.  You will not be given the ultimate game plan, but you will be given steps and each bread crumb leads to the next step.  Before you know it, you’ve made it to the other side – successfully and without struggle! 

Now that you’ve proven to yourself that it works, find an experience your kiddo is going through and work with them through these steps.  Use your life experiences as examples or “proof” of the success in letting things go, in the success of following universal flow.

 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching - The Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
 
For more information, check out my blogs: ​ Expectations & Emotions, You Achieve What You Believe, Use Your Intuition To Find Your Mission
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KILLIN' TIME WITH IDLE MINDS

4/20/2020

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​​Taking a break .... or so you thought!
Now that spring break was here, we could take a break from teaching! WooHoo! But what I noticed about five minutes into my week’s retirement is that my brain took over. Now it doesn’t help that I’ve been going down memory lane cleaning out boxes and boxes of keepsakes I’ve had store in my basement since I moved in 13 years ago and simultaneously when my parents moved out of my childhood home.  I’ve found notes from my grandparents that have since passed, family funnies (my family LOVES to give cards – it's kinda our thing), friends I’d forgotten, pictures from trips I’d taken, journals from too long ago to admit and of course – the old flames.  Wow did all of this conjure up some memories.... AND some feelings. 
 
Time is Tricky 
You’d think after a certain amount of time, these keepsakes would just be a memory. But it turned out to be so much more.  All of our life experiences are energetically stored and most of us really only remember the good in our past but sometimes when you’ve had a challenging relationship or someone has passed, you tend to feel a lot more.   
 
My grandparents’ hand-written letters telling me how much they loved and are proud of me gave me the feeling that this note from the past allowed me to talk to them in the present.  Of course I knew they loved me and were proud of me at the time – they told me often but now as a mom, it meant so much more.  These letters made me realize how important words are.  It made me realize how important my words to my son are.  My words now are literally laying the groundwork for his future self-confidence. 

The old flames and past friendships, however, brought about a much different feeling.  I relived our past “stories” and some had not so great endings.  At first, this made me look back at my behavior in judgement but then I was reminded of a Maya Angelou quote “when you know better, you do better.” Then my view immediately switched to seeing how far I had come.  To see the relationships as the gifts they are truly were.  I wouldn’t be the person I am today had I not had these experiences.  Being grateful helped me let go of past expectations, accept them for what they were & move forward. 
 
My Take-Away on Time 
So how do we tackle this thing called time so we can live fully present in this moment – not regretting the past or fretting over the future? We use our feelings as our guide.  As they pop up, we address in what “time” they pop up – past, present or future. 

By using these mantras when our feelings arise, we can grow in our perspective of time:  
Letting go of the past – I did the very best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. 
Accepting the present – Everything is unfolding exactly how it is supposed to be. 
Worrying about the future – The universe always has a plan for me. 
 
Coupled with these mantras, these tools help us honor our feelings while also using them to grow: 
Gratitude – for how far you’ve come and for all the blessings in your life 
Breathwork – to bravely face your feelings so you can move past the not so pleasant ones 
Acceptance – for exactly who you are, perfectly and beautifully made doing the very best you can 
 
The Kid’s Korner 
Be a great role model to your kiddo by teaching them these tools.  After all, we are their original teachers!   
 
Start a gratitude practice with your kiddos.  At breakfast every morning, have each family member state something they are grateful for.   
 
By teaching your kids breathwork (see my Breath in Hope, Breath out Anxiety Post Breathwork 101) you teach them how to process overwhelming feelings in the moment instead of ignoring them or blaming how they feel on others.  
 
Most importantly, let’s teach them acceptance for who they are.  After all, once we start accepting ourselves, we learn to have more tolerance and compassion for others. And what a great world our children will lead from this perspective! - The Mom's Coach 
Let me support you marvelous mamas as you support your family:  
Tips & Tricks:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
My Stories:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
 
For more information, check out my blogs: Expectations & Emotions, Feel Your Way to Freedom, Self-Confidence Traps & How to Overcome

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Expectations & Emotions

3/28/2020

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Expectations and emotions.  Now that’s a loaded topic, right?  Even more so when we’re talking about our kids & emotions.  Then add to that unexpected circumstances we can’t just fix?  That used to be what I’d define as a hot mess! 

But it doesn’t have to be.  And that’s the hope I want to offer as we all adapt to our new normal.  The good news is that the old debate between the working mom and stay at home mom has officially been squashed.  Because regardless of the camp in which you reside, we’ve all been given the new title – TEACHER. And let’s be honest, the title mom alone was already a full-time position that could easily be filled by at least 5 human beings – housekeeper, chef, chauffer, launder and counselor.  

I don’t know about yall, but it’s been a lot.  For many reasons.  First, I’m super type-A and I love trying to control the outcome. (Ok, maybe I’m recovering-A because I did just use the word “trying”.)  I set high expectations.  I also work well in structured schedules.  And I am a social butterfly. 

For anyone that’s been a quarantined homeschooler for a week now knows that all of the above just got thrown out the window!  Those expectations I set for life just laughed right in my face, turned around and ran away.  I decided if I was going to adapt to my new normal, I better find that zen-go-with-the-flow-yoga-girl I so idolize. 

Well …. let’s just say I’m still in hot pursuit of that girl because she’s nowhere to be found (shocker, right?).  Plan B: let’s get down to some coping mechanisms instead …. what do we do when we can’t do anything? 

Coping with expectations is master’s level work when it comes to emotional intelligence.  When we can bridge the gap between what we want to happen versus the reality of what’s really going on, we’re well on our way to emotional freedom.  

It can be hard though because feelings of disappointment stink.  BUT what we all fail to realize is that there is NOTHING wrong with this feeling.  Where we take a wrong turn is when we don’t allow ourselves to feel these feelings.  The big secret is, once we feel them, they no longer have control over us! 

Once our feelings no longer control us, we can take intentional action to change the feeling.  One of my go-to methods for healing an expectation is called Retrain Your Brain. You literally flip your perspective from seeing a disappointment to seeing a gift.   

This is what I did when I became a full-time employee working from home, full-time teacher with NO prior experience and full-time stay at home mom to a very energetic yet fabulously cute 9 year-old boy.  

Yes, if I look at it on paper, all lined up and in print, it invokes much deserved anxiety.  Yet, do I want to sit in that anxiety?  Or do I want to move on to a better feeling?  I chose to vote for the latter option. So I put the old Retrain Your Brain methodology to work. I asked myself, since I can’t do anything to change my current situation, what can I learn from it?  I started focusing on all that I am gaining instead. 

I get to be the stay at home I’d always dreamed of being and didn’t have the opportunity to do;  I get to spend more time with my son on his school during the day instead of rushed, forced homework at night (with tantrums and tears) after getting home from work and before taking him to baseball;  I get to take daily walks in the neighborhood where my son tells me all about what goes on in his head (truly a gift from a very active, on the go, kinda guy);  I get to do fun, special projects with my son every single day (and not just on the weekends);  I get to spend time with my older gentleman, a 13 year-old chocolate lab and crazy kitties;  I finally got the cat that’s shown up at our door to let me pet her – we now have adopted her too!   

I can tell by now you’ve got the drift of how this works. Now you try it.  After all, we never teach our kiddo something we haven’t first proven to ourselves to work.  Embrace how focusing on what you can control feels so much better than fighting what you can’t change.  See how much more energy it gives you. What extra things did you accomplish with this energy? 

Ask your kiddo about a disappointment.  Have them tell you what they wished had happened and how they feel.  Tell them it’s perfectly ok to feel that way.  Ask them if they had to do it over, what could they have done differently.  If nothing, way to go you did your best!  If yes, then guess what? You learned something new.  Either way it’s a win- win! When we teach our kids that disappointments are wins too, they train their brain to learn from disappointments instead of becoming defined by them. 

Now let’s go teach our kiddos!  We ARE their greatest role model.  Let’s unite in this moment moms and agree to use this current situation to show our kids how great we can handle the unexpected.  You are investing in their successful emotional future and after all, we mamas are the original teachers! 
​
I want to support you marvelous mamas during this challenging time.  Join my community for daily tips & tricks https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou/ and email me for free coaching support Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org - You GOT this!   
- The Mom’s Coach 
www.BeBraveBeYou.org 
#bebravebeyou   
#EQisthenewIQ   
#theMOMScoach  
#teachyourchildrenwell 

For more information, check out my blogs: Feel Your Way to Freedom, From Setbacks to Setups,
Learn the Power of EQ
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YOU ACHIEVE WHAT YOU BELIEVE

2/24/2020

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The Most Important Person to Listen to is You
 
It took me quite a long time to buy this story and understandably so!  When your outside world is a hot mess, it’s a hard pill to swallow that you might just be responsible for it.  I mean who in the world would want negative people or experiences in their life?  Don’t we all just want peace and joy? 
​

Of course, we do and the good news is, we have more control over the situation than we think we do. Simply put, our outside world is a reflection of our inside conversation.  What we think we synch. So in my case, I once thought I was unworthy of love. In turn I attracted people and circumstances that showed me I was unworthy – disloyal friends, men that used and betrayed me and financial failure just to name a few. 

It wasn’t until I admitted to myself that I was the common denominator in all my life’s drama that I begin to regain my personal power. I discovered that my thoughts were the root to all my life’s circumstances.  Yes!  Our thoughts are that powerful because they turn into “our story” that we tell, which becomes our belief system. 

Begin by Taking Responsibility
Discovering the sheer power of your thoughts is both liberating and scary.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. If you want a different outcome than you’ve had in the past, you need to retrain your brain to think differently. But how was I to monitor every thought I had?  It sounded so very exhausting.  

It is actually quite simple.  You start with how you feel. Most of us choose one of two ways to process feelings.  Either you suppress them by stuffing them down and pretending they don’t exist. Or you can get stuck in the never-ending hamster wheel of over-analyzing them (this was my poison). Both are simply a way to avoid the feeling. It’s natural.  We just want to protect ourselves from being hurt but the fact remains the feelings won’t go away. Might as well face them head on! 

Be the Master of Your Thoughts, Not the Servant
The healthiest way sounds so rudimentary but it works as simply as it sounds – just feel how you feel.  Acknowledge – that made me mad, sad, stuck, lost – whatever feeling it is that has arisen. Breath into this acknowledgement. Then, instead of shaming or judging yourself, begin to get curious by asking questions about your feelings.  

Through our feelings we become more conscious of our thoughts.  This is because our feelings are triggered by our thoughts. If you have good thoughts, you have good feelings and then you take positive action.  The opposite is true as well – think negatively, feel negatively, take negative actions.  I was all too familiar with the latter scene. So, I decided to try the opposite, it worked! 

In physics this is called the Observer Effect - the mere observation of a phenomenon inevitably changes that phenomenon. By becoming aware of how we feel, we can decide if our thoughts need to change.  We simultaneously build our self-confidence because we are now in the driver’s seat.  We are in control of our actions.  Therefore, we operate from a place of decision making rather than just reacting to a feeling.  

Voila, you’ve now become the victor of your reality, not the victim of some circumstance!  You have taken back your personal power by taking responsibility for your thoughts which can now manifest as positive experiences in your life.  

t would be my pleasure to work with your family on intuition and to teach you what I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 

For more information, check out my blog Healing My Inner Child:
www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2019/09/eq-is-the-new-iq4146244.html

As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ​
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 
​
Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
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USE YOUR INTUITION TO FIND YOUR MISSION

1/20/2020

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From Five Sensory to Sixth Sensory Living 
Our first connection to the world is through our five senses – see, hear, touch, smell & taste.  There’s another sense that is under developed in many of us – our intuition. As we get older, we learn about “that gut feeling” because we “had a feeling” we shouldn’t do something but we proceeded any way. Then remember afterwards that we might should have followed that “feeling” that was alerting us of trouble ahead. 

Many successful adults have learned to harness and follow their instincts. (Steve Jobs being a great example!) It is seen as a special gift when in actuality this gift is available to us all. We just have to learn how to hear its promptings and take action by following through. 

How to Hear Your Inner Voice 
So how do we turn this “gut feeling” into a reliable, internal GPS system?  Spiritual guidance is being offered to us and around us at all times.  To receive this information, we first have to decipher how we receive intuitive hits.   

Just like there are five senses, there are also five main intuitive senses.  Each of these begin with the prefix “Clair”, which comes from the French word meaning “clear.” Clairvoyance is through vision.  Clairaudience is by sound.  Clairsentience is a feeling in your body, where Clairempathy is feeling in your emotions.  And last, Claircognizance is knowing. 

You learn to communicate with spirit as you learned to speak your native language – with practice. It really is that simple.  The difference is, where we use written or spoken form to communicate our language to one another, when we are conversing with spirit, our senses are used as the medium of exchange. 

For example, you ask for assistance with a problem and spirit will give you that answer in the form of – seeing the answer on a build board, hearing the answer in a tv program, feeling what direction you should take, having the emotional feeling guide you or you just know the answer. 

Yes, it does seem cryptic at first, but as you develop your confidence in your personal clair, you’ll be amazed at the assistance that will guide you and protect you. 

Let’s Teach our Kiddos Early 
I developed a roadmap to assist you in easily teaching your kiddos how to tap into their intuition for guidance. It’s called REAP your Intuition and it stands for – Request, Express, Accept and Progress.
 
First, we Request assistance in the form of prayer, meditation, vision boards or affirmations.  Next, we Express our commitment by raising our vibrational energy so we can receive the guidance. Once we Accept information from our clair, we track Progress to build confidence that accurate information was received and successfully used. 

What clair do you identify with?  How has it helped you make life’s tough decisions? How can you share this feedback with your kiddo to help them develop their intuition? You are taking a big step forward in your kiddo’s development by learning this important skill & I commend you! 

As Sam Owen said - How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth. So, we must care for ourselves in every way, every day! 

It would be my pleasure to work with your family on intuition and to teach you what I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 

For more information, check out my blog Self-Care:

http://www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2019/12/self-care-is-not-selfish.html
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 
​

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
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CREATIVITY HONORS YOUR UNIQUENESS

1/5/2020

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Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience 
Spirit is defined as “the nonphysical part of a person which is the seat of emotions and character; the soul.”  Most of us identify with ourselves as being a body with a spirit.  However, it’s actually the other way around!  In reality we are actually spirits having a human experience.  

We are not in physical form to learn to elevate or enlighten our spiritual nature.  Our spiritual nature needs no tweaking.  We are here in physical form to experience our spiritual nature. To find out our unique likes and dislikes, what we do and don’t want to experience, and how to leave our unique legacy. 

Part of how we care for ourselves is giving our spirit room to create in its own individual way.  Creativity is a form of playing for our spirits.  A form of expression of who we uniquely are.  There never has been nor will there ever be someone exactly as you are.  Isn’t that exciting? 

Living in the Present Moment 
Creativity also fosters living in the present moment.  Most of us spend our time fretting over past mistakes made or worrying about events in the future.  When we do this, we rob ourselves of the present moment.  When in reality the present moment is truly the only moment there is.  

Many of us were not taught this as children and we’ve grown to waste precious time in the present moment trying to fix the past or forecast the future.  If we can teach our children in their formative years about living the present moment, they will have a better chance at reaching their fullest potential. 

What is Your Individual Expression? 
Creativity comes in many forms. The usual suspects that first come to mind are art based – painting, singing, playing an instrument, sculpture, drama, dance, photography or creative writing.   

The creativity I am referring to encompasses so much more.  It includes anything that you are passionate about – it is not limited to the arts.  Examples are sports (skating, biking), education (solving math problems, spelling bees), nature (collecting rocks, gardening) and creating (sewing, knitting).  

We spend so much time at work or school conforming in groups, that it is important for us to teach our kiddos how to unleash their personal imprint of their soul.  To explore many different types of activities and find what makes your heart sing gives meaning to our lives. 

Help Your Kiddo Tap Into Their Creativity 
As a parent I have both listened to what my son would like to try and also introduced activities. For a balanced, well-rounded structure, I choose three types of creative activities each quarter. 

I’ve worked his out around sports, which are his jam. Each league lasts three months and we choose two more activities.  For example, this winter we chose sports (basketball), creative (lego class) and education (math app on his tablet). Voila, it’s that simple! 

In addition to finding what he uniquely likes to create, he is also learning the habit of trying new things.  Each time he does so, he gets less fearful of the unknown because he is practicing building those Neural Pathways! 

It’s also great for our kiddos to see we value expressing our creativity as well.  I love to read, work out and sing and my son sees my joy, which reinforces the importance of creativity.  Way to set an example for your kiddo that creativity is not a luxury it’s a must-have skill! 

For more information, check out my blog Comfort Zones:

http://www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2019/10/jumping-from-your-comfort-zone-into-the-end-zone.html
​
As Sam Owen said - How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth. So, we must care for ourselves in every way, every day! ​
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 
​

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
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SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH

12/5/2019

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Self-Care Sacrificed 
Too many of us sacrifice our self-care to be of service to others.  Not even realizing it, we teach our children to do the same by example.  We teach them that it is selfish to focus on your own needs first.  That it is altruistic to sacrifice your time and energy in the service of others.   
​

Now don’t get me wrong – being of service is important.  But not at the expense of your depleted energy.  I liken it to the air bags on an airplane.  They give us specific instruction we must put our airbag on first before helping someone else because if we run out of breath, we cannot be of service to anyone else. Therefore, we must put our airbag on first to guarantee we have enough air supply flowing to then be of service to others.   

This is the same with our life force energy.  In order to be fully present in service to others, we first must have our energy tank at full capacity. 

Keeping That Tank Full 
There are four main categories that keep our energy elevated that we need in our daily routine. 
  • Diet - our modern world always seems to be focusing on sacrificing some food group in hopes to look a certain way.  For my purposes, I equate it to eating whole foods – fresh fruits and vegetables instead of man-made GMO food.  Also, drink half your body weight in water. 
  • Exercise – not everybody has the same idea of what exercise should look like due to schedules & preferences.  Getting your body moving for 30 minutes a day is a win! 
  • Sleep – a minimum of eight hours is the recommendation but you know what your body needs to perform.  As long as you allow enough time to feel refreshed, the number doesn’t matter! 
  • Meditation – not necessarily meaning you sit in a lotus pose for an hour.  What I mean is taking time out each day to quiet the mind.  Even five minutes can reboot your energy! 

How Do I Model Self-Care to My Kiddos? 
Growing up my mom did almost everything for us. She did this out of love for us but there is great learning in doing.  Our kids watch every move we make.  They follow by example.  I know as a mom this is a relief because I can’t count the number of times my boy’s eyes have glazed over while I was trying to teach a great life lesson, while all he heard was preachin’! 
  • Have your kiddo help plan the week’s menu and go grocery shopping.  You can help navigate them to healthier choices and also teach about sticking to the script! 
  • Find an exercise your kiddo likes to do with you.  I started with a Thanksgiving Gobble Jog and now we run together.   
  • Setting a proper bedtime shows them the importance of sleep and sticking to the routine sets everyone up for success the following day!   
  • Meditating together not only gets them comfortable with silence, you can bond as well afterwards by sharing what thoughts arose and what you learned from them. 
Our ultimate goal after all is to raise self-sufficient, well balanced people.  Give them the tools and watch them flourish – way to go mom! 

As Sam Owen said - How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth. So, we must care for ourselves in every way, every day! 

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with teaching self-care and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 

For more information, check out my blog Creativity:
http://www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2020/01/creativity-honors-your-uniqueness.html
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
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FEEL YOUR WAY TO FREEDOM

11/18/2019

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From Thoughts to Feelings                                                              
I have found on my journey that self-confidence is earned by a well-balanced Mind, Body and Spirit.  My first blog series was on the Mind or how important our Thoughts are because we achieve what we believe.  (If you missed my first blog series you can visit my website.) 

Now we are going to learn about how to keep our body in balance.  The reason we started with our mind is that our thoughts trigger our feelings.  When we are consciously aware of our thoughts we move into the driver’s seat.  We are in a position to choose our action rather than blindly reacting to a feeling. This builds self-confidence.  Great, but what do we do with all our feelings? 

Be Accepting of ALL Feelings                       
All feelings are a physical response to your emotional journey, rooted in thought. Feelings are neither good or bad – we actually put that label on them.  Yes, some feelings feel better than others of course!  However, there is a benefit to those not-so-great feelings as well. 

Every experience in life is for our evolutionary growth.  This means that instead of avoiding the feelings that don’t feel so hot, it’s important to FEEL ALL of the FEELINGS.  When we distract ourselves from a feeling – by binge watching tv, shopping, addictions – we only temporarily relieve ourselves of feeling pain. The feeling does not go anywhere and is instead stuffed down. 

In the most extreme form, this blocked energy in your body is what causes dis-ease.  From the most practical standpoint it becomes a building block for insecurity.  When we believe something has happened to us is wrong, we are stating that the universe is wrong, therefore unsafe, therefore untrustworthy.   

Instead of going with the flow, feeling the feeling, letting go and moving on, you get lost in mental chatter.  If instead of fighting it you gave attention to it, the feeling would dissipate and you would no longer need a story attached to a feeling.  You do this by balancing your feelings with what you can practically do about a situation.  This is a better use of your energy. 

Feel Your Way to Freedom  
Let's get practical and learn how to face your feelings head on.  First and foremost, allow yourself to feel the feeling.  Observe yourself without judgement – be in the experience.  Adding shame to an already unpleasant feeling only compounds the issue.   

Close your eyes and breath through the feeling.  When we are relaxed it just becomes thought instead of an identification.  Repeat to yourself - I am safe.  I honor what this feeling is trying to tell me. Sit until your heart stops racing, your breath is relaxed and you feel more peaceful. 

Now that you are in a relaxed state of mind, ask what the feeling is trying to show you.  Allow the first answer that pops into your mind to direct your thoughts. Nine times out of ten, the feeling is a byproduct of an unresolved situation.  If there is some action you can take to heal, take action. Remember, we can only be responsible for our actions. If you find your resolution has to do with your desire for someone else's behavior to change, it's time to let it go. 

No matter if the situation is resolved in the manner you wish, you will find peace because you are no longer looking outside of yourself for empowerment.  You have learned you can calm yourself and that your personal power lies inside you, not outside of you (in the realm of things you cannot control).  We’re not here to overcome “bad” experiences.  All experiences are a catalyst for growth.  It just takes courage to discover what glue is holding you together – love or fear? 

Teach Your Kiddo Feelings Can Be Fun! 
Find a subject that is giving your child anxiety.  Explain that feelings are just our internal compass shining a light on something we need to work on. Then try the exercise above.  Watch your kiddo’s relief wash over their face and know you have taught them a lifelong tool. Way to go mom! 

As Sam Owen said - How we care for ourselves gives our brain messages that shape our self-worth. So, we must care for ourselves in every way, every day! ​

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with processing feelings and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 

For more information, check out my blog Self-Talk: 

www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2020/02/you-achieve-what-you-believe.html
 
Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
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FROM SETBACKS TO SETUPS

11/11/2019

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This is one of my favorite topics!  It is so very dear to my heart because for the longest time, I got stuck - like in quicksand stuck – in fear of trying new things, in failure when something didn’t go as planned and in mistakes I’d made.  I couldn’t seem to let go.  I just kept revisiting it over and over in my mind.  Not for the opportunity to learn from the experience but for the chance to endlessly shame myself for my inadequacies.  In summary, I was letting these disappointments define me. 

Looking back, I can see clearly now how I fell into that trap.  It’s only natural to feel down about fear, failures and mistakes.  Who wouldn’t?  But the key is not to get stuck in these feelings.  To know that you can move past these seeming obstacles. And to become stronger for it! 

What we believe, we achieve.  If we continue to identify with our fear, failures and mistakes we miss tapping into our true potential.  And don’t we all want our kids to live bravely and become all they are meant to be?  Well then it is our responsibility to teach them that fear, failures and mistakes are all a part of life.  We need to teach them to expect them, not be surprised by them. We do this by equipping our kiddos with skills to deal with what life throws their way. 

Shifting Your Way to Victory 
We live in a world of duality.  You’re either up or you’re down.  You go right or go left.  You are right or you are wrong.  Now that you get the idea, let’s build on it.   

Events are actually neutral.  We are the ones that define them as good or as bad.  Which means how we react is a choice.  We can either look to failure and mistakes to define us – “I made so many errors in the game today, I’m just not athletic.” Or we can look to them to teach us - “I kept getting penalties today that were all for the same thing.  How can I become more aware of what I’m doing before a penalty is called?” 

How we respond enables us to either stand in our personal power or shrink into a victim.  By standing in our personal power, we realize we have a choice.  Being a victim only gives your power away by not feeling in control.  Good news is, if we do choose the victimhood first, we can always change our minds!  We do this by shifting our perspective of the failure or mistake.  

Remember, we should never ignore how we feel.  Our feelings are there for a reason, to alert us to an issue we need to address.  What we do with our feelings is what is important – in other words, how we choose to react.  Do we face the disappointment with hope to learn from it or do we give up, throw in the towel and let the experience define us? 

Practice Makes Perfect  
We’ve all seen those people in our lives, that over time get beaten down by life’s disappointments and we surely don’t want our kiddos going down that path.  Now you can teach them that instead of seeing failure or mistakes as something they don’t want to deal with, they can use the experience as a compass to direct their path – instead of a roadblock that stunts their growth.  Let us all declare - No quicksand for our kiddos! 

Identify a fear, failure or mistake your kiddo has recently experienced.  Work together to change the perspective from something disappointing to what can be learned.  You can even start a Victory Journal where your kiddo logs in each time they do this exercise.  When they encounter a disappointment again, they can read all the times they overcame.  Watch their resilience grow and know you have taught them a life-long skill that will serve them well!  Way to go mom! 

 As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” ​

It would be my pleasure to hear your family’s struggles with moving past disappointments and to teach you coping mechanisms I learned from my personal journey and professional training.  Follow me for more to come! 

For more information, check out my blog Self-Confidence Traps:  
http://www.bebravebeyou.org/2/post/2018/03/self-confidence-traps-and-how-to-overcome.html

Join Me  
I hoped you received some valuable information!  Follow me for free tips & tricks, and I look forward to serving your family's needs!  Here’s to happy coaching, the Mom’s Coach 
Find tips & tricks to help your family:  https://www.facebook.com/MichelleColeBeBraveBeYou 
Follow my stories as a parent:  https://www.instagram.com/bebravebeyou_org/ 
Contact me with Questions:  Michelle@BeBraveBeYou.org 
Connect with my Blog:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/blog 
Join my Free Membership:  http://www.bebravebeyou.org/membership 

Let's teach our children how to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the Power of EQ! 
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