The Most Important Person to Listen to is You
It took me quite a long time to buy this story and understandably so! When your outside world is a hot mess, it’s a hard pill to swallow that you might just be responsible for it. I mean who in the world would want negative people or experiences in their life? Don’t we all just want peace and joy?
Of course, we do and the good news is, we have more control over the situation than we think we do. Simply put, our outside world is a reflection of our inside conversation. What we think we synch. So in my case, I once thought I was unworthy of love. In turn I attracted people and circumstances that showed me I was unworthy – disloyal friends, men that used and betrayed me and financial failure just to name a few.
It wasn’t until I admitted to myself that I was the common denominator in all my life’s drama that I begin to regain my personal power. I discovered that my thoughts were the root to all my life’s circumstances. Yes! Our thoughts are that powerful because they turn into “our story” that we tell, which becomes our belief system.
Begin by Taking Responsibility
Discovering the sheer power of your thoughts is both liberating and scary. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. If you want a different outcome than you’ve had in the past, you need to retrain your brain to think differently. But how was I to monitor every thought I had? It sounded so very exhausting.
It is actually quite simple. You start with how you feel. Most of us choose one of two ways to process feelings. Either you suppress them by stuffing them down and pretending they don’t exist. Or you can get stuck in the never-ending hamster wheel of over-analyzing them (this was my poison). Both are simply a way to avoid the feeling. It’s natural. We just want to protect ourselves from being hurt but the fact remains the feelings won’t go away. Might as well face them head on!
Be the Master of Your Thoughts, Not the Servant
The healthiest way sounds so rudimentary but it works as simply as it sounds – just feel how you feel. Acknowledge – that made me mad, sad, stuck, lost – whatever feeling it is that has arisen. Breath into this acknowledgement. Then, instead of shaming or judging yourself, begin to get curious by asking questions about your feelings.
Through our feelings we become more conscious of our thoughts. This is because our feelings are triggered by our thoughts. If you have good thoughts, you have good feelings and then you take positive action. The opposite is true as well – think negatively, feel negatively, take negative actions. I was all too familiar with the latter scene. So, I decided to try the opposite, it worked!
In physics this is called the Observer Effect - the mere observation of a phenomenon inevitably changes that phenomenon. By becoming aware of how we feel, we can decide if our thoughts need to change. We simultaneously build our self-confidence because we are now in the driver’s seat. We are in control of our actions. Therefore, we operate from a place of decision making rather than just reacting to a feeling.
Voila, you’ve now become the victor of your reality, not the victim of some circumstance! You have taken back your personal power by taking responsibility for your thoughts which can now manifest as positive experiences in your life.
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As Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”
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