Society teaches us that by developing our child's IQ, to the best of their ability, we will all but ensure their future success. There is nothing wrong with striving for a high IQ. I grew up on this model. We all did. Learning was so fascinating to me that I've even collected several degrees, all in varying and contrasting subjects and modalities. I've also experienced great success. But, something was missing.
Even though I excelled academically in my life, emotionally I was not as skilled. This affected all of my relationships - my family, friends, professional and romantic. I had a high IQ but a very underdeveloped EQ. This in turn impacted my self-confidence and how i interacted with others (quite often defensively I might add!) which also got in the way of academic opportunities for advancement in my career.
Where IQ measures how smart you are academically, EQ measures how "smart" you are emotionally. By emotionally smart, I mean how competent you are in self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. Simply put how aware you are of your emotions, if you take responsibility for them and if you take action to improve upon them.
For many years I surely did not. I saw the world as a place where I was the victim. Where everything was happening to me. My life changed when I learned how to become emotionally intelligent. To accept the fact that when someone or something triggered a negative emotion inside of me, it was my responsibility to get to the bottom of it. And by blaming the other person, I was only postponing future pain that was sure to show up.
How did I turn this ship around? I learned how to become emotionally intelligent. I learned by becoming aware of my thought patterns, I could then take responsibility for them and by taking action, can change them. You see it all begins with our inner dialogue. As Henry Ford famously quoted “Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." This is where we truly hold our personal power and the statistics prove it as well.
As early as the age of 7 children's self-confidence can start to decline. 30% of children between the ages of 10-12 experience headaches and difficulty sleeping due to stress. 10% of children are diagnosed with depression by the age of 18. 1 out of 4 children are bullied, with 43% of that happening online.
This need not be so. We can teach our children in the formative years mindset developmental skills that target thought patterns. We can teach our children the brain science behind the power their minds and the power of their thoughts to become the master of their life and not the servant.
For more information, check out my blog Feelings:
Let's teach our children to Be Brave, Be You - by learning the power of EQ!